A few months ago, back in January, I wrote an article talking about why Kylie Jenner is the worst Kardashian in the family (a pretty accurate statement, if you ask me). Now we’re nearing the end of June and she’s actually gotten worse. Watching her Snapchat stories is a great (and very maddening) pastime when I can’t fall asleep at night, and her snap story last night is actually what inspired me to write this article. And it was really not difficult to come up with some additional reasons about why Kylie still sucks:
1. The freaking lip gloss on the arm thing
Seriously, every other day the girl releases one or two (or fifty) new lip gloss shades, and she shows them to her Snapchat followers by smearing them all over her arms. “This is Koko, next to Exposed. Exposed is my favorite.”
Photo Credit: Snapchat of Kylie Jenner
And, in case you missed it on Snapchat...
Photo Credit: Instagram of Kylie Jenner
2. Her attempts at building suspense for her new gloss colors
Here’s exactly what Kylie said in the series of snaps that inspired me to write this article:
Snap 1: “So you guys, I have two more colors. Two more lip kits. I really wanna release them next week.”
Snap 2: “You tell me: should I release them next week? For Fourth of July, so you get them in time? Or should I wait; is it too much?”
Snap 3: “They’re really really fun shades... (*lowers voice to a whisper*) actually I have them right here… But they’re gonna be exclusive.”
Snap 4: “Okay, everyone wants me to release them. Sooo I think I’m gonna probably do it next Friday, and show you guys before that.”
My question is this—does anyone actually care that much about Kylie’s lip gloss kits? Do people actually wait with bated breath to see what the “exclusive” colors are going to look like? Because the way she talks on Snapchat, you would think she was about to reveal proof of the existence of extraterrestrial life.
3. Her incessant lip syncing
Photo Credit: Life and Style Magazine
In between her videos about her new lip glosses, Kylie really enjoys posting snap stories of her singing along to rap songs, featuring her face. She’s always mouthing the lyrics a couple of beats too slow, but that’s not the point: the point is that her hair extensions, false eyelashes, and dermal-injected/“Candy K” matte coated lips are front and center for everyone to get a good look at.
4. Her Instagram photos reminding America that she has a nice body
Photo Credit: Instagram of Kylie Jenner
I’m guessing the wide-eyed emoji serves to remind us lowly Instagram followers just how to react to this photo—with shock and awe at the great Kylie’s booty.
5. Her Instagram photos reminding America that her friends also have nice bodies (and classy matching tattoos!)
Photo Credit: Instagram of Kylie Jenner
You, too, can be Kylie’s friend if you get a tattoo in cursive on your butt and take a slutty picture with her. Girl power!
6. Her snap stories reminding us just how little she has to do
"Just finished my glam!" *cue selfie of makeup look* "A little shopping in the house never hurt nobody!" *cue video of huge walk in shoe closet* "Chow time!" *cue picture of her and her friends at an expensive lunch* (We get it, Kylie, you're rich and bored).
So anyway. I could keep going, but I have to go spend $30 to pre-order Kylie's upcoming lip kit (lol). If you're looking for a way to waste time or simply for a reason to be annoyed at life, make sure you follow Kylie on all her social media accounts.
