The Art Of Letting Go: Knowing When To Leave Something Behind

The Art Of Letting Go: Knowing When To Leave Something Behind

There comes a moment when your involvement with work, clubs, and relationships have reached its maximum potential. The Art of Letting Go is a skill you need to recognize that on-coming break-up and save yourself the pain. New Year, New Me...


During our first-year orientation, our college gave us a tassel attached to a blank list. We fill out what we want to have accomplished by the end of our fourth year and share it with the group. On my list, I put the usual: graduate, good grades, post-grad goals, and career networking. I also added "Filipino culture," because, as someone who grew up with mostly Hispanic peers at predominantly Latino institutions, I did not have much knowledge of Filipino culture nor did I have many Filipino friends. I always felt a disconnect because I did not have a group of friends in high school with shared cultural experiences and could not even feel comfortable when faced with the opportunity. Though it is important to have a diverse group of peers, there is something special in being friends with people culturally relatable. Also, I'd feel a stab of envy whenever I saw pictures of childhood friends at each other's family parties, and moreover, there was a strange sense of loneliness I couldn't help but experience. To address my goal, I joined the premiere Filipino organization on our campus, Samahang Pilipino.

My first year in Samahang was a learning curve. By the end of my first year in college, I was more educated about my community, its history, and my culture. More importantly, I started to develop a group of Filipino friends I had always wanted. By my second year, I got involved in many leadership opportunities the organization had to offer and developed many friendships along the way. However, at the end of it, I was burnt out, exhausted, and partially jaded by the experience. I decided to not continue with leadership, and the beginning of my third year sucked. I didn't have much to do anymore, all my friends were still being amazing in the space (and busy with it, too), and it felt off-putting. However, the break allowed me to take a step back from the leadership environment and give a strong sigh of relief. I was no longer tied to the responsibilities of the org and was able to see the people I had worked so closely with as who they were initially: my friends.

In retrospect, my subconscious knew it was time to leave the organization because I got what I wanted from it- culture and kinship. I am still grateful and appreciative of the leadership experience, and it actually developed some relationships further, but I pushed myself when there was nothing left for me. I learned about my heritage and I made core friends along the way, which is what I wanted out of it. The burnout came from digging for more than what I had asked for or really needed.

I have learned through this experience that there are moments where you must leave an organization, job, or even, a relationship. In my situation, I had to reassess the leadership roles that required more commitment than I was willing to give.

Before stepping foot into a community, ask yourself: What do I want from this experience? Throughout your journey, as long as it still matches your values and goals, you can be flexible with what you want from your outcome. However, and you'll know it when you feel it, you have to accept when it is time for you to go.

Here is a list of signs:

  1. When you have no more growth in the space.
  2. When the space does not benefit your direction towards your goals.
  3. When it becomes more burdensome than fulfilling.
  4. When you have given it your all and there's nothing left to give.

Knowing when to let go will keep any position or relationship left still healthy and positive, so when necessary, you can go back to the space without hesitation for a hand or a hug (I still love you, SP).

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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The Power Of Journaling

Slowing down in a fast pace world.


In a world where everything is moving so fast pace, I have found comfort in taking small moments to reflect on the blurring images around me. I have always loved to journal, but recently I have found a system that works very well for me.

One habit that I have newly formed is creating a section in my journal that I like to call "Get Out of My Head." Life moves very fast and sometimes my thoughts can't keep up. This causes stress, anxiety, sadness and even the feeling of loneliness. I have created this section in my journal to be a safe place where I can just scribble down whatever is taking over my head, but there is a trick.

Like I stated previously, I have always loved to journal, but I never found ultimate comfort in it because I would go back and read what I wanted to remove from my mind. This was causing me to reexperience what I didn't want to. I highly suggest having a place in your journal that is essentially a flame for all th4e thoughts you want to rid of.

On the contrary, have a section in your journal where you love to look. I try and fill this section with happy thoughts, quotes, verses, and gratitude. This makes journaling and reading your entries something to look forward to, rather than not.

In conclusion, journaling is unique for everyone and it takes some time to figure out exactly the right way. But once you discover the safe place that journaling can be, it can change your life forever.

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