The Art of Letting Go

The Art Of Letting Go: Knowing When To Leave Something Behind

There comes a moment when your involvement with work, clubs, and relationships have reached its maximum potential. The Art of Letting Go is a skill you need to recognize that on-coming break-up and save yourself the pain. New Year, New Me...


During our first-year orientation, our college gave us a tassel attached to a blank list. We fill out what we want to have accomplished by the end of our fourth year and share it with the group. On my list, I put the usual: graduate, good grades, post-grad goals, and career networking. I also added "Filipino culture," because, as someone who grew up with mostly Hispanic peers at predominantly Latino institutions, I did not have much knowledge of Filipino culture nor did I have many Filipino friends. I always felt a disconnect because I did not have a group of friends in high school with shared cultural experiences and could not even feel comfortable when faced with the opportunity. Though it is important to have a diverse group of peers, there is something special in being friends with people culturally relatable. Also, I'd feel a stab of envy whenever I saw pictures of childhood friends at each other's family parties, and moreover, there was a strange sense of loneliness I couldn't help but experience. To address my goal, I joined the premiere Filipino organization on our campus, Samahang Pilipino.

My first year in Samahang was a learning curve. By the end of my first year in college, I was more educated about my community, its history, and my culture. More importantly, I started to develop a group of Filipino friends I had always wanted. By my second year, I got involved in many leadership opportunities the organization had to offer and developed many friendships along the way. However, at the end of it, I was burnt out, exhausted, and partially jaded by the experience. I decided to not continue with leadership, and the beginning of my third year sucked. I didn't have much to do anymore, all my friends were still being amazing in the space (and busy with it, too), and it felt off-putting. However, the break allowed me to take a step back from the leadership environment and give a strong sigh of relief. I was no longer tied to the responsibilities of the org and was able to see the people I had worked so closely with as who they were initially: my friends.

In retrospect, my subconscious knew it was time to leave the organization because I got what I wanted from it- culture and kinship. I am still grateful and appreciative of the leadership experience, and it actually developed some relationships further, but I pushed myself when there was nothing left for me. I learned about my heritage and I made core friends along the way, which is what I wanted out of it. The burnout came from digging for more than what I had asked for or really needed.

I have learned through this experience that there are moments where you must leave an organization, job, or even, a relationship. In my situation, I had to reassess the leadership roles that required more commitment than I was willing to give.

Before stepping foot into a community, ask yourself: What do I want from this experience? Throughout your journey, as long as it still matches your values and goals, you can be flexible with what you want from your outcome. However, and you'll know it when you feel it, you have to accept when it is time for you to go.

Here is a list of signs:

  1. When you have no more growth in the space.
  2. When the space does not benefit your direction towards your goals.
  3. When it becomes more burdensome than fulfilling.
  4. When you have given it your all and there's nothing left to give.

Knowing when to let go will keep any position or relationship left still healthy and positive, so when necessary, you can go back to the space without hesitation for a hand or a hug (I still love you, SP).

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.

When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.


Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!


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