For as long as I can remember, I haven't wanted kids. That baby fever? Never. Talking about all of the kids I want when I'm grown up? I've been adamantly stating the opposite since about the age of 10. Playing with baby dolls and finding them adorable? Yeah, they actually creeped me out a bit when I was little. (Those eyes. They are soulless, I swear.) The desire for children has never hit me, and I'm completely OK with that.
Some people will read this and probably gasp in horror. "How could you not want kids?! What's wrong with you?" For one, last time I checked I turned out to be a pretty decent person. I grew up in a great home with loving parents. I've never had an absolutely traumatic experience with a child. I just have no desire to have my own children one day, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me. It just means I know exactly what I want, just like those who want children know exactly what they want. There's no difference between us.
What are some of the reasons I don't want kids? Well, I will be completely honest: I don't like children very much. No, I'm not a child hater. I'm not going to go hurt any kids. Repeat, it will not happen. But I don't get along with children. My personality is already slightly awkward, and it seems like children sniff that out immediately. Toddlers especially terrify me. They're like walking tornadoes: at one moment perfectly content, the next screaming because they spilled their juice. I'm not cut out to deal with that. Anytime I'm around a child that has a meltdown, I instantly start creeping away. My mom teaches Pre-K, and while I enjoy visiting every once in awhile, there's no way I could do her job, a.k.a. parenting, every day.
Another big reason? Pregnancy remains one of my largest fears, coming in solidly at number one to be exact. Ever since I was little, the whole idea (even if I didn't really understand it) has freaked me out. I already don't want kids and the whole process of pregnancy? Throwing up, emotional breakdowns, eating weird food combinations, labor pains? Yeah, I'll stick to not having any of those things happen to me. I'm not extremely interested in the idea of putting my body through hell to have to turn around and completely switch up my lifestyle.
That's another thing. I really like having the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Children are a responsibility, the largest responsibility you can undertake, in my opinion. I have a lot of other things I want to accomplish in my life, like having a great career, traveling around the world, and living in the city of my dreams. While in no way am I saying you can't do any of those things when you have kids, I know personally I would have to give up on a lot of my dreams to raise a child the way I think is correct, and that doesn't interest me. I want to be able to come home and unwind after I'm done working. I want to be able to pick up and leave whenever I want to travel, or be able to move at the drop of a hat if I need to. After seeing a few examples of awful parenting in my life, I realize that if I were to ever have a kid, I would have to give my life over to raising them the way I wanted. While I don't think I would end up like Norma Bates, I still don't want to take any chances. However, I'm definitely ready to be the cool aunt. Bring it on, friends.
Even some of some of those closest to me don't understand my desire to not reproduce when it's quite simple: You don't have to understand it. It's my decision, not yours. My body, not yours. If I don't want kids, it's not any of your business, especially if you're not part of my family or one of my close friends. Last time I checked, it's OK for men to not want kids, but women are shamed constantly for not wanting their own children, and it's pretty screwed up. Making our personal choices for our lives should not make us feel terrible for wanting what we want, even if it isn't what society dictates we should want. It's a decision, plain and simple. So the next time you catch yourself telling a woman, "Oh, you'll change your mind" (this is the best way to drive me insane, for future reference), please, take a step back and reconsider what you've just said. The eye rolling and the optional generally insane grin you'll receive might make you do that anyways, but really, these types of questions show how little respect is shown to women who don't want kids. Respect is all I, and other women who choose not to reproduce, want. Think before you ask.
