Notice how I didn't finish the rest of the ever-popular phrase above? Coincidence? Perhaps not.
Ha. Okay just kidding, we do need kids, not just because life wouldn't really work without them since we all go through an adolescent stage in order to become adults, but also they can sometimes be tolerable.
As of late, between being a camp counselor and spending copious hours of babysitting, I feel as if I am drowning in small-handed, booger infested waters. I never considered myself to be a "kid person" but here I am, chin deep in children. Children who are not my own. Spending time in these waters, I've come to realize that there are certain types of kids in this world. Some more tolerable than others.
Disclosure, I really do love kids.
1. The helligan
In case you aren't aware of this term's meaning, this is someone sent directly from hell itself. It seems as if the Devil himself has trained this kid and taught him all that he knows. This spawn of satan doesn't listen to any authority, has a reckless sense of being and is known to corrupt the minds of others around them. There is no known remedy to control this species of child and can sometimes leave lasting damage to the poor soul in charge of them.
2. The pleader
No matter how many times you say no to their suggestion of playing mafia for the 12th time that day, they still sit there begging with all their might. No matter how many times they refuse to use the porta potties because "it smells" or how many times they swear they "don't need sunscreen" on a godforsaken sunny day, they never give up. They should receive a medal for their relentless efforts. Always trying to change your mind, see their way, and make your day a little more difficult, they are always there.
3. The hanger on-ers
These kids tend to stick themselves to your body so that they can pretty much breathe the same air as you at all times. They hang on for dear life, as if life itself is too scary to experience on their own. The old "sit on your feet so you have to walk around with cement blocks in kid-form around your feet" gag is in full effect. They are your shadow, your hanger on-er.
4. The kid that has too much sugar all the time
This kid will literally do anything you tell them. Anything that involves any type of movement or requires energy of any kind. Most of the time they are a joy to have in camp because they are so eager to participate in games, until it comes to "rest time" and they're pooping themselves trying to sit still.
Of course, there are plenty of other (more enjoyable) types of kids in this world, yet for some reason, only these types come to mind after the week of camp I just endured.
