I was always the friend that stood up for my friends and for myself. I never let anyone walk all over us especially when it came to guys. I always gave the best advice. I never understood why girls would let guys walk all over them. But then one day I realized you don’t always know how to handle a situation until you go through it yourself. 2013 was a year that changed my life forever and one I will never forget. It still haunts me today. It was a very dark, scary, and lonely place that I fell into.

I feel like society dismisses these problems and blames it all on us for staying in the relationship. I want to make young girls today understand it is okay to walk away from a harmful relationship and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I want people to understand this is still a huge problem in society today. I want to share how I overcame this horrible nightmare and help people who can get the help I needed. I can only repeat myself so much: you truly don’t know what anyone is going through until you go through it yourself.

Physical, Sexual, and verbal abuse is a major problem with teens and young adults today, and we need to face and solve this issue. According to the Bureau “Nationally, one in three teens experience abuse in their romantic relationships, including verbal and emotional abuse." This problem holds a very special place in my heart because I am someone who was affected by physical and verbal abuse. I was in a relationship with a guy I thought I knew and loved. In the beginning, it was good until one day he snapped and his whole attitude changed.

The boy I grew up with across the street, the boy who I thought loved me as much as I loved him, took the most important thing I ever had away from me. He took who I was away from me and that changed my life forever. I fell into his trap called “love.” If you told me my relationship was going to end like this in the very beginning I would’ve laughed. He made me feel like I was in a fairy tale and that’s what messed me up. I never knew he was going to snap, but he did. We were always together, always smiling, always laughing, always happy. We were like that couple everyone judged when they went out to eat or the movies because we were just so caught in the moment. Now, looking back at these moments today I realize this is where I screwed up. Instead of crying and thinking of excuses as to why, I should've been thinking I need to end this.

A California man stabbed his girlfriend to death in front of their two friends because she was getting him mad. She never knew he would’ve hurt her or done anything like that, but he did. According to witnesses, the couple got into a small argument and he got so mad he started yelling at her “Nobody in this house can save you” and “you’re going to die." This is a prime example of how love can just change in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, like many teens and young adults today who are affected by abusive relationships, I became embarrassed and tried to hide it from my loved ones and that made the issue get worse. My mom started to get nosey, but I still wouldn’t let anyone in. My mom got so nervous she got the police involved. I was still defending him left and right. I didn’t want anyone to know about the situation. My relationship with him was different in my head than his. I always look back and wonder if he never broke up with me where would I be today? What would I be doing? I was devastated. I was so mad because I knew it was my fault. A million thoughts were running in my head: “I could’ve prevented this. Why did I let him treat me like this? What did I become?” I not only was mad at the fact that I let myself go, but most importantly I was mad I let him affect my education, my passion for dance, my drive and dedication. I needed to get that back. To this day the memories still haunt me. Quite frankly I don’t think they’re never going to go away, but I can tell you they are just memories because they will never happen again. I look back at the memories in disbelief. Did I really know the true meaning of “love”? Was love for me really sitting in the seventh precinct coming up with a fake story as to why my eye was black with my mom sobbing in the corner? My heart breaks for my parents because I could never imagine having to watch your child go through something like that.

As you can see my life has been an emotional roller coaster but also for many others as well. There are so many people out there going through the same thing and you would never even know it. It also isn't only about the physical abuse. There's also verbal and sexual and that too can damage a person and change who they are forever. One major problem is that teens and young adults don’t know how to handle situations like this. They feel lost and embarrassed. Looking back at my situation, I can now see why so many people hide it from others. You’re embarrassed and don’t want people to know what goes on behind closed doors. You think people will judge you and say how stupid you are but that is the last thing that is going to happen. People need to understand it's okay to seek help. You can go to a family member, a friend, or you can go talk to a therapist, or even a support group. This is still a huge problem in society. Teens and young adult’s lives are on the line. I think society should get this message out all over. Make people understand it is not okay to be treated this way and there are so many people that are willing to help them get through these difficult times. If you're a friend to anyone going through something like this never give up; even though you don't think you’re getting through to them you are but they won't realize it just yet. They need you by your side.

This is still a huge problem in society, and two often it is just brushed off like it's nothing. I want to make young girls today understand it is okay to walk away and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You truly don’t know what anyone is going through until you go through it yourself.