As many of those close to me know, I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for a really long time. For the longest time, I didn't recognize that what I was experiencing qualified as anxiety. Upon reading "Everyone Is Going Through Something" by Kevin Love in The Players Tribune, I had strong emotions about what Kevin had to say.
Kevin starts the piece by describing the feeling of having a panic attack, something that really resonated with me because I had never been able to put into words exactly what it felt like to have an attack. For me, panic attacks often come out of nowhere and they're often too quick for me to stop. The feeling of your chest tightening up, heart beating incredibly fast, and ceaseless shakes throughout your entire body is not something I can ever forget. I honestly can't even remember when my first one was because I'm so used to having them.
I've always been a person who claims to be transparent with who I am and what I'm dealing with, but I've kept this part of myself locked up for a very long time. For a lot of my life so far, I've pretended to be perfect. Any time something less than perfect popped up, I'd push it back down and internalize it quicker than I could blink. Realizing that Kevin Love felt the same way and was going through the same things that I've always gone through really opened my eyes.
How often do we critique, idolize, and put pressure on professional athletes and celebrities? Very often. It comes with the territory, almost. Rarely ever do we see someone who expresses their struggle and shows us how they dealt with it productively. Too many times, we don't realize that a celebrity is struggling until they go down a bad path such as addiction or suicide. I think that it is so human of Kevin to open himself up to the media and fans across the league to discuss his mental health. The struggle to keep personal issues under wraps is a huge fear, not just for celebrities and athletes, but for those of us who tend to be private about less-than-perfect things.
Then Kevin did something even better: he invited anyone reading that needed to talk to email him and tell their story of dealing with mental health. Taking on the stories of so many people would be overwhelmingly emotional for me, especially realizing over and over again that I'm not alone. This is a wonderful opportunity and it creates an even greater connection between the players and fans.
I have always admired Kevin Love, and when he came to the Cleveland Cavaliers, I couldn't contain my joy. His jersey was the first that I ever bought and I'm proud of the choice I made. Something about seeing his constant attempts at improvement through each stage of his life really spoke to me. To learn that he struggles with similar mental health issues as I do blew me away and made me respect him even more. I could never imagine being so open with my struggles on a national stage. Thank you, Kevin Love. You have encouraged me to be open with my mental health and to continue having conversations to change the stigma surrounding it.
