Yes, Kentucky is known for more than barefoot rednecks who marry their cousins. The Kentucky Derby is arguably one of the most well known sports events of the year, where the bets are high and the drinks are stronger. The Kentucky Derby is more than just a horse race to us Kentuckians, it’s a religious holiday. It’s the only weekend of the year where school is cancelled in honor of a horse race and the drinks are flowing as the sun rises. It’s the most highly anticipated weekend of the year. But don’t be fooled, it’s a marathon not a sprint. For all you newcomers here is everything you need to know for not only surviving but thriving at your first Kentucky Derby.

After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

1. It’s not Loo-ey-ville, it’s Loo-ah-vul. People take personal offense to this common mispronunciation.

2. Given our dwindling college bank accounts, a ticket to infield is about all we can afford. Know that the chances of actually seeing a horse are slim to none. The closest you’ll get to one is watching them on the jumbotron.

3. Hats may be fun and festive, but you’ll want to fling yours onto the track after bumping it into people all day. Nothing is worse than going in for a hug and being swatted in the face by a decorative flower.

4. Oaks Lily Drink >> Derby Mint Julep. Because who wants overpriced sugar water and whiskey with a side of leaves? But hey, we’ll pretend to like them.

5. If Lilly Pulitzer and Vineyard Vines had a baby, it would be the Kentucky Derby. Not only is it the most wonderful time of the year, it’s the preppiest time of the year.

6. After your bank account is depleted by the pricey ticket, you should at least get some sort of souvenir to show for it- take full advantage of the Vineyard Vines tent. Steal as much free stuff as possible. Throw on your cheesy whale hat and make the best, “Whale you go to Derby with me?” or “Whale you bet on me?” basic Insta post you can think of.

7. Know that you’re most likely going to lose half of your friends throughout the day. With all the excitement and intoxication around you, it’s inevitable. If only they made adult leashes.

8. Cell phone service might as well be non-existent. Maybe walkie talkies will make a comeback?

9. Cigars and turkey legs are essential Derby must haves. Like the mint juleps, you can just pretend to like them.

10. Give yourself the satisfaction of knowing you’re within the same 5 mile radius as a dozen A-list celebrities. Kim Kardashian, Gisele Bundchen, Erin Andrews and Tom Brady have all been in attendance, so you basically spent Derby with them. Let that soak in.

11. Prepare to have the best day of your life. Post-derby depression is real.

Everyone’s a winner at the Kentucky Derby, my bets are on you.