At my 6th birthday party, I made Kelly. Kelly was and could be absolutely anything to me. She could be a toy to play with, something to cuddle with, and even my best friend.
I made Kelly at Build-a-Bear. All my friends were there and I remember having the time of my life making her. I picked a monkey, because at the time monkeys were my favorite animal, and stuffed her with all that lovely filling and more hearts than any Build-a-Bear should ever have. I adorned her in pink "silk" pajamas. The pocket on the pajamas read "Little Angel."
From that day forward Kelly has always been where I left her. She sits on my bed, next to my pillows, waiting for my entrance back into my room. She waits patiently all day, and she knows I am always coming back.
She sat on my first twin bed in my yellow room painted like a beautiful garden. She sat on my full-size bed when we redecorated my room with metallic blue and baby blue walls, she sat on my bed when I moved houses, that is now adorned with the softest linen sheets anyone can imagine. She was always there, I never brought her anywhere until I came to college.
Kelly made her first journey on her way to Syracuse. She is no longer that shiny new monkey doll that I made when I was 6, but she was as good as new to me. I documented her entire journey from Los Angeles to Syracuse via Snapchat, and to many of my friends, I was probably seen as a complete lunatic, but I didn’t care. This was a big deal for both Kelly and I, we were moving on and leaving our home.
Kelly made her second journey this year to Boston. She sat on my lap the entire flight as I read my book. She was placed perfectly on my new bed in my new dorm room. She still sits and waits for me every day when I come home from classes.
It may seem childish for a 20-year-old to still sleep with a doll, and you know what, it might be completely childish. I am okay with that, though. I think it is so important to keep a piece of your childhood with you at all times. Kelly is a reminder of everything I have been through. She is a constant piece of security for me and a constant piece of comfort when I sleep at night.
I have never been embarrassed of Kelly, even as I have grown older. When a new friend comes to my room for the first time and asks about the very old and worn out doll that rests on my bed, I tell them exactly who Kelly is and why she is so important to me.
I wouldn't be the girl I am today without Kelly in my life. Yes, she is a doll, but a doll that means the absolute world to me. While everything around me changes constantly, from growing up, to moving, to gaining new friends and saying goodbye to old friends, and everything in between, Kelly is always there.
