To The Men Who Support Brett Kavanaugh

To The Men Who Support Brett Kavanaugh

An open letter to the men who don't believe Dr. Christine Ford.

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It really breaks my heart that there are men close to me, that I have looked up to for years as protectors, who believe Brett Kavanaugh over Dr. Christine Ford. It's not political anymore, not even remotely. It's not about him getting on the supreme court or not; that doesn't matter to me at this point. It's the fact that there are men in my life who would choose to not believe me if I were sexually assaulted, and would choose to defend my assaulter instead. It is terrifying to know that there are men in my life who would call me a liar or tell me that I'm not attractive enough to sexually assault - as if it's a privilege. Knowing that there are men I once saw as father figures who wouldn't believe me, or defend me if I were sexually assaulted - that's what's scaring women about this situation. This is my letter to those men.

I understand the need for a fair trial. I understand the concept of "innocent until proven guilty." I am unopposed to the fair investigation of both Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh. Frankly, I support it. But yes, I do believe Dr. Ford. Trauma affects everyone differently. Just because she's coming out with her story years later doesn't mean that she is a liar. There are multiple sexual assault testimonies and reports I haven't given about people in my life that I will probably never give. However, if one of my assaulters was to run for the supreme court in 30 years, I would do exactly what Dr. Ford has done.

I understand that you have the freedom to choose who to believe and support and that a conclusion hasn't officially been declared as to who is telling the truth. However, along those same lines - if you choose to support Judge Kavanaugh over Dr. Ford, you are sending a message to the women in your life that it is easier to assume the innocence of an assaulter than it is to hold a man accountable for his possible actions. I don't understand what is so wrong about not believing Kavanaugh right off the bat. Just because someone says "no, I didn't do it" (or in Kavanaugh's case, throws a temper tantrum) doesn't mean they didn't do it.

Much deeper than that, choosing to believe Kavanaugh when there is a fair amount of evidence to accuse him is blind, ignorant, and an inconsiderate lack of judgment. I would really love to know what Dr. Ford's motivation in falsely accusing Kavanaugh could possibly be. Because I can assure you, I wouldn't want my assaulter on the supreme court either. I wouldn't go out of my way to accuse and testify against a man who didn't assault me just to ruin his life. Most women would say the same.

And to the men who think that alcohol changes this situation - it doesn't. Sexual assault is sexual assault. By legal definition, having sex with someone who is under the influence is rape because they physically cannot consent. Even if they say yes, that decision is influenced by alcohol. It. Is. Rape. I know that Dr. Ford did not accuse Kavanaugh of rape, but sexual assault is just as bad. What is worse is that Dr. Ford was both under the influence AND didn't give consent. That makes twice as bad of a case for Kavanaugh. To the men who say that Dr. Ford shouldn't have drunk so much, that maybe she wouldn't have been assaulted if she hadn't been drunk - you just don't get it. I have been sexually abused while sober more times than I can count. It wasn't my fault. The same goes for Dr. Ford. Was she too drunk to stand? Too drunk to form coherent sentences? So what. Too drunk to defend herself? She shouldn't have had to. A woman's drunkenness is NOT an excuse or a reason for a man to sexually assault her. That is a man's conscious decision. HIS drunkenness is to blame. It's like a car. Leaving your car unlocked, while it is advised against, is not the same as asking someone to steal your car or the personal belongings inside of it. That is the robber's choice. Being drunk is not asking for sexual assault. That is the assaulter's choice alone.

Beyond choosing to believe Kavanaugh and choosing to blame Dr. Ford for being drunk, choosing to ridicule and mock Dr. Ford during what is probably the hardest time of her life is heartless, cruel, and disgusting. Posting on social media about her not being "attractive enough to assault" or how she is "crucifying Kavanaugh" is truly awful. Saying that you're "afraid to be around women now" because they could accuse you of sexual assault means that you are the kind of man who would sexually assault a woman. If you aren't an assaulter or a rapist, why does Dr. Ford's testimony scare you so much? I don't know a single woman that would intentionally, falsely accuse a man of sexual assault just to watch his downfall. I really don't. If you're afraid that a woman is going to accuse you of sexual assault, it means you are the kind of man who would commit it.


https://twitter.com/zachsvobodny/status/1047138292641222656?s=21


And to those who whine about this ending Kavanaugh's career or his life - how do you think Dr. Ford feels? The trauma of sexual assault haunts you forever. If she's telling the truth and being transparent with her evidence - she's done her suffering and she's ready for a change. If that comes at Kavanaugh's expense, that's his own fault for choosing to sexually assault someone.

Now, I know that "believe all women" is not an effective way to approach accusations of sexual assault or rape. It's flippant and ignorant. But when it comes to Dr. Ford, I do take her at her word. She has verbally recounted the events practically perfectly, and many men who knew Kavanaugh in college have vouched for her and said that they wouldn't doubt the assault taking place based on who Kavanaugh was. Just because Judge Kavanaugh is older now doesn't mean that he shouldn't face the consequences of his actions, either. If he didn't face them when he assaulted Dr. Ford, he can face them now. He doesn't deserve a supreme court position and to give him one is a massive slap in the face to sexual assault survivors in our country.

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I Might Have Aborted My Fetus When I Was 18, But Looking Back, I Saved A Child’s Life

It may have been one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't had done it.

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Due to recent political strife happening in the world today, I have decided to write on a very touchy, difficult subject for me that only a handful of people truly know.

When I was 18 years old, I had an abortion.

I was fresh out of high school, and deferring college for a year or two — I wanted to get all of my immature fun out so I was prepared to focus and work in the future. I was going through my hardcore party stage, and I had a boyfriend at the time that truly was a work of art (I mean truly).

Needless to say, I was extremely misinformed on sex education, and I never really thought it could happen to me. I actually thought I was invincible to getting pregnant, and it never really registered to me that if I had unprotected sex, I could actually get pregnant (I was 18, I never said I was smart).

I remember being at my desk job and for weeks, I just felt so nauseous and overly tired. I was late for my period, but it never really registered to me something could be wrong besides just getting the flu — it was November, which is the peak of flu season.

The first person I told was my best friend, and she came with me to get three pregnancy tests at Target. The first one came negative, however, the second two came positive.

I truly believe this was when my anxiety disorder started because I haven't been the same ever since.

Growing up in a conservative, Catholic Italian household, teen pregnancy and especially abortion is 150% frowned upon. So when I went to Planned Parenthood and got the actual lab test done that came out positive, I was heartbroken.

I felt like I was stuck between two roads: Follow how I was raised and have the child, or terminate it and ultimately save myself AND the child from a hard future.

My boyfriend at the time and I were beyond not ready. That same week, I found out he had cheated on me with his ex and finances weren't looking so great, and I was starting to go through the hardest depression of my life. Because of our relationship, I had lost so many friends and family, that I was left to decide the fate of both myself and this fetus. I could barely take care of myself — I was drinking, overcoming drug addictions, slightly suicidal and living with a man who didn't love me.

As selfish as you may think this was, I terminated the fetus and had the abortion.

I knew that if I had the child, I would be continuing the cycle in which my family has created. My goal since I was young was to break the cycle and breakaway from the toxicity in how generations of children in my family were raised. If I had this child, I can assure you my life would be far from how it is now.

If I had carried to term, I would have had a six-year old, and God knows where I would've been.

Now, I am fulfilling my future by getting a BA in Politics, Philosophy and Economics, having several student leadership roles, and looking into law schools for the future.

Although it still haunts me, and the thought of having another abortion truly upsets me, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I get asked constantly "Do you think it's just to kill a valuable future of a child?" and my response to that is this:

It's in the hands of the woman. She is giving away her valuable future to an unwanted pregnancy, which then resentment could cause horror to both the child and the woman.

As horrible as it was for me in my personal experience, I would not be where I am today: a strong woman, who had overcome addiction, her partying stage, and ultimately got her life in order. If I would have had the child, I can assure you that I would have followed the footsteps of my own childhood, and the child would not have had an easy life.

Because of this, I saved both my life and the child's life.

And if you don't agree or you dislike this decision, tough stuff because this is my body, my decision, my choice — no one else.

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Everything You Need To Know About The New Abortion Ban In Several States

DISCLAIMER: the following does not include any of my personal beliefs/opinions.

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Abortion has and will always be a controversial and very sensitive topic for all genders. The following article delves into the details about the Alabama abortion ban that was signed to be a law which, if it passes, will be in effect January 2020 and briefly touches on the Georgia Heartbeat Bill.

Roe v. Wade (1973)

In 1973, Roe v. Wade 410 was passed in the U.S. by the Supreme Court. In short, this ruled that the Due Process Clause along with the 14th Amendment in the Constitution would work to give pregnant women the choice to choose whether or not they wanted an abortion AND should coincide with the government's personal agenda to protect the health of all who is involved. What I mean by this is that the Supreme Court decided during the second trimester of a pregnancy, abortions would be allowed. But, if it is the third trimester, abortion is to be prohibited unless the health of the mother is in danger. This law catapulted the abortion debate which is still going on today.


Abortion vs. Alabama

Alabama's governor, Kay Ivey, signed off on a bill that will basically ban all abortions, including rape, incest, any abnormality, and if the mother's life is in danger on May 14, 2019 after acquiring approval from 25 Senators . This could be a problem considering that it very much contradicts Roe v. Wade (1973). To Ivey, the bill is a reflection of the values in which the citizens of Alabama believe: all life is precious and a gift from God.


Governor of the State of Alabama, Kay Ivey (pictured above). home.bt.com

The governor of Georgia also signed a bill to ban abortion after detecting the slightest heartbeat which is approximately around the six-week pregnancy period (around the time most women discover that they are pregnant). Another important take on this is that despite the rift and debate that is going on between Democrats and Republicans, most Republicans believe that Roe v. Wade will be overturned. This is looking more like a possibility considering most of the Supreme Court consists of people who support the Republican party. In short, the main idea is to ban abortion in all of the United States, not just in some states like it is currently. In regards to Alabama, the bill still has not been enacted into a law and could possibly encounter delay in the Supreme Court because, after all, this is a very debated topic. For now, abortion is still legal until January 2020 or when it becomes a law.

Conditions of the Abortion Law

The conditions of the abortion law explicitly states that abortion during any stage of a pregnancy is prohibited and if any medical professional aids in the practice/procedure of an abortion, they will face up to 99 years in prison. If an attempt is made to perform an abortion procedure, an individual can be sentenced to 10 years in prison. Women who successfully get an abortion or attempt to will be prosecuted as well. However, only those who provide another with an abortion will be punished in Alabama, not the one receiving the service.

No form of abortion is allowed including: rape, incest, life-threatening abnormality, or putting the life of the mother in danger.


Alabama expected to approve controversial abortion bill www.youtube.com


Two Sides to the Debate

Although most Republicans support the law, the Democratic party has combatted the notion of it. Many opponents of the ban state that the restriction can put the lives of many in danger and affects women of color and those who are living in poverty heavily. ACLU and the Center for Reproductive Rights have also declared that they will sue. Many young people have also reached out to social media websites such as Twitter and Instagram to voice their opinions:

Tweets from individuals who are anti-abortion ban www.wnd.com

Many celebrities have also stated their opinions on the matter. Rihanna stated in one of her Instagram posts, "Take a look," referring to a picture of 25 Senators in Alabama who approved the abortion bill, "These are the idiots making decisions for WOMEN in America. Governor Kay Ivey...SHAME ON YOU!!!"

Although both sides clearly have their opinions on the debate of pro-life/pro-choice, one thing we all can agree on is that this will be a long process that can make or break the lives of a lot of people in our nation.

Until next time,

Salsa.

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