Welcome, friends, to the residence of Kauffman Stadium, Arrowhead, true barbecue, the city of fountains, and what we call our beautiful home. Growing up with K ansas City only 20 minutes away, you learn to find the beauty in a city in the middle of the country that is often looked at as a just a flyover state with land flatter than pancakes.
We invite you to cheer for the once "underdogs" we call the Royals. I not only applaud, but thank them for allowing us to brag about winning the World Series in 1985 and being one step closer every year to that again. Last year was just a warm up, watch out it's almost Blue October.
The Royals aren't the only team we show our pride and insane dedication to. Our red and yellow sea of fans in Arrowhead begs to differ with you that the only ending to the National Anthem is "home of the Chiefs." Especially since we are now the record holders for loudest stadium after we beat out the Seahawks with 142.2 decibels of insane cheering for our boys.
Kansas City is home to many attractions from the Liberty Memorial, Kauffman Center of Performing Arts, Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, Worlds of Fun, Loose Park, Crown Center, Power and Light district - but the one I'm still confused about is how the Nelson Museum of Art forgot that normal-size people can't play badminton on the lawn with 18-foot-tall birdies.
Okay, so sorry, but not actually. The joke "do you know Dorothy and Toto?" was never funny and never will be; but we're nice enough to fake laugh and act like it's the first time we've heard it. Can we please forget about that? Maybe that joke will die like the Wicked Witch of the West herself.
However, "The Wizard of Oz," will never lets us forget about our tornadoes. Seriously, Kansas weather is more off and on than your feelings about your ex. If it isn't snowing, raining, hailing, or 99 degrees, "There's the tornado sirens again," says my mom as she hides in the hallway or basement.
I didn't realize until I was in 4th grade that Kansas and Missouri weren't the same state. You sometimes forget it only takes you about 20 minutes to cross the state line to visit a whole different state. Hey, maybe next time send your parents a postcard!
You say "barbecue" with beauty and grace because it isn't just a dinner food. It's a lifestyle for dads everywhere. It's either on the grill, in your backyard, or at KC Joe's, Arthur Bryant's, Jack Stack, Gates... the list of places to find the nations finest is longer than Taylor Swift's long list of ex-lovers.
Lastly, I thank you for being our place to call home. Kansas City thank you for housing our dedicated obnoxious fans who never seem to give up a sense of pride and who party like it's 1985. Thank you for allowing us to have a wide variety of jackets for every weather forecast Gary Lezak is willing to throw at us. Thank you for allowing us to kick our feet up after a long day driving through the endless construction in our beautiful city while eating some Kansas City barbecue. You're our home, and we love you. I wouldn't want it any other way.
