When it comes to KAM’s, many questions come to mind. Is there a “Kam”? Does the health inspector ever come here? Who is the poor human being who has to clean the bathrooms every night? How does my phone know to autocorrect “KAM’s” to all-caps?
The draw to Kameron’s is a mystery to both those who do and don’t frequent Daniel Street’s only bar. Those who consistently flock there will tell you that the place feels like home. Yes, it may be a home where the bathroom floors are always slick and the air smells of upchuck and bottom shelf whiskey, but it is home, regardless.
If the place is so repugnant, why do people continue to wait in line in all sorts of weather (and sometimes even pay) to get in? Well, the term “quality” is often unimportant and lost to the average UIUC student. For example, would you go to Joe’s to do ballroom dancing? Would you go to Red Lion on a first date with a guy you met on Christian Mingle? Would you go to Cly’s for its impeccable wine, or to Brother’s for the fresh air and roominess? We like these places because they’re shoddy and sub-par. I mean, how many outstanding memories have you made in a country club?
I wanted to hear from the people themselves why and how they contribute to KAM’s culture. Names are omitted to encourage the most honest answers.
Why do you go to KAM’s?
“I go to KAM’s because I can be free. I can be ridiculously weird but I am also surrounded by other weirdos. So I don’t feel judged.”
“I go there to relax. It’s just the way it’s always been.”
“I don’t really know. I don’t really ever wake up in the morning and think ‘I’m going to go to KAM’s,’ but somehow I just end up there. And then the next morning I wake up and think, ‘Wait, I went to KAM’s?’”
“KAM’s is home. KAM’s is life.”
Would you return to KAM’s in 20 years?
“Yes, if it’s still standing. I would bring my kids in and tell ‘em about the good old days, then break it to them that it’s where I met their real dad.”
“Yes. I would cry as I entered the bar because I would reminisce so hard knowing that I couldn’t go back to that time.”
“Um, YES. I would like to see if they finally learn to stock extra toilet paper in the bathrooms. That won’t really matter though; by then I’ll probably be enough of a mom to have a surplus of Kleenex in my purse.”
“I’d come with my kids, maybe for Dad’s Weekend. I’d pour one out for the old lady, then embarrass the kids real good by hitting on college girls.”
What is your most memorable moment at KAM’s?
“Oh my god. I don’t even know. Maybe the time I was so messed up that I thought I was a dolphin and was pretending to be one in the mirror in the basement.”
“Once I had the urge to puke so I went to the bathroom and did not make it… needless to say, I puked in my mouth. At that precise moment I literally ran into my crush. So instead of continuing to go to the bathroom, I became so scared that I just swallowed it. We’re dating now.”
“I got kicked out of there one night, so me and my roommate walked about five feet, switched shirts then went back in.”
“I have never felt more patriotic than the day I went to watch USA Hockey at KAM’s. They lost, but the entire bar was packed and singing ‘Star Spangled Banner’ and chanting ‘USA’ for the rest of the afternoon. It was the best sense of camaraderie I’ve ever felt.”