27 Times Rape Victims Got Taken Advantage Of, And Not Just By Their Rapist

27 Times Rape Victims Got Taken Advantage Of, And Not Just By Their Rapist

Every minute 24 people experience violence from their intimate partners in the U.S.
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I've been hearing about wrong-doers getting away with their criminal actions since before I knew O.J. stood for Orenthal James.

From the wrongly accused getting put away to letting the unlawful walk, the U.S. court system keeps letting us down. Victims of rape, domestic violence and sexual abuse resonate with this struggle too often. Unfortunately, it's not just the court system that keeps failing rape victims, it's all of us.

The term "rape culture" has been introduced and shared throughout feminist circles to describe a poor social conditioning that is experienced culturally. It refers to a set of actions that affect every woman. Don't get me wrong, rape culture also includes trans and gender non-conforming people (and cis men), at disturbingly high rates.

I understand it's a people's issue — gender aside. However, it's not a secret that rape culture affects women on a much broader scale.

The simple fact that most women limit their behaviors because of the existence and possibilities of rape, says more than I ever could. Compared to men, more females live in fear of rape. Women think twice about the short skirt they wear, while men have no issue streaking in public.

Rape culture showcases rape as prevalent and sexual violence against women as normal or excused in the media and popular culture. It's about a ridiculous amount of cultural practices that we, unfortunately, all take part in as a society. Rape culture refers to situations in which sexual assault and rape are normalized.

Rape victims get taken advantage of every day, and not just by their perpetrators. If we can't understand how our society normalizes rape, sexual assault, or domestic violence, how can we expect positive change? Skewed interpretations of what rape culture means make it easier to deny it's happening and harder to prevent it. The examples below are more than just anecdotal or isolated incidents, rather they are small parts of a large societal trend.

Rape culture is…

1. Adding pressure to victims to speak up about their rape because their rape kit has an expiration date.

2. A pop song telling young girls “blurred lines" (consent) means everyone “you know you want it.

3. A judge sentencing a 50-year-old man to just 30 days in jail because the 14-year-old girl he raped was “older than her chronological age."

4. Offering support to athletes who are charged with rape, because their victims basically ruined their careers.

5. Companies creating decals of women bound and tied to bring in new clientele and “promote their business."

6. The justice system that fails to hold rapists accountable for their actions.

7. People who blame survivors instead of the perpetrators.

8. Sayings like “boys will be boys."

9. Sayings like “if he ignores you or is mean to you it means he likes you."

10. Simply assuming sexual assault cases are usually false, when in fact only 2-8 % are.

11. Journalists who think it's okay to use the words “sex" and “rape" interchangeably. They are NOT the same.

12. Politicians who say rape is “something that God intended to happen" or that rape is sometimes considered “legitimate rape.

13. Calling students or ANYONE a liar for having the courage to report their rapists.

14. Telling victims they are overreacting if they happen to call someone out for catcalling them.

15. Rape jokes.

16. Sexual assault jokes.

17. People who tell women they need to take certain precautions to prevent rape, instead of telling men to NOT rape.

18. Reddit threads like “You just have to make sure she's dead" and then linking it to the story of a 13-year-old girl who got raped and buried alive in Pakistan.

19. Reddit threads who support men causing pain to women during sex.

20. Hashtags that support accused rapists.

21. Defending celebrities who are accused of rape simply because of their social status, without listening to the victim's story.

22. When more women feel scared to walk outside at night than men.

23. When most men have never checked their back seat to make sure no one was there.

24. According to the CDC, 1 in 5 women reports experiencing rape versus 1 in 71 men.

25. Prestigious universities covering up campus rapes to maintain a positive reputation.

26. Phrases like “suck my dick" or “fuck you."

27. Using the word rape as a substitute for winning: “I just raped that game!" Or using it in the opposite context: “That game raped me!"

I could easily keep going, and by now I'm sure you've caught on to what rape culture really signifies. Examples are everywhere and they permeate our society on all levels. Why is this even important or significant? Because together we can make a difference. The more people that become aware and get on board, the less rape will become normalized.

Society, as a whole, needs to understand that rape is NOT okay, and it NEVER will be.

Cover Image Credit: The CW

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28 Urban Slang Terms Every New Yorker Knows

It's dead ass mad brick out today.
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The New York City youth is greatly influenced by hip-hop culture, and hip-hop culture is continuously influenced by New York City. With the colorful expressions found in both hip-hop and the streets of New York, colorful language is inevitable. The truth is, you're not a real New Yorker if you've never heard these terms before.

1. Whack = (adj) used to describe something that is appalling in nature

"That's whack!"

2. Grill = (v) to stare, usually impolitely; to give a dirty look

"Dude stop grilling my girlfriend, I know her spray tan looks whack."

3. To front/Fronting = (v) to put on a façade; acting like you are something that you are not.

"Stop fronting like you own the place."

4. Cop = (v) to buy

"I'm about to cop some chips, you want some?"

5. Catch these hands = phrase used to initiate a fight

"If that girl keeps grilling me she can catch these hands."

Variations: throw these hands; throw hands; catch this fade

6. Crusty = (adj) used to describe someone who is dirty or trashy

"Girl, did you shower today? Your hair is looking all types of musty, dusty, and crusty."

Synonyms: musty; dusty

7. Lit = (adj) used to describe someone or something that is amazing in every sense

Variations: litty

8. Mad = (adv) very

"Stay away from her, bro. She has mad problems."

Synonyms: dumb; OD; stupid

9. Dumb = (adv) extremely

"This party is dumb lit."

Synonyms: mad; OD; stupid

10. Brick = (adj) very cold

"Damn, it's mad brick out."

11. Tight = (v) to be upset

"Stop running your fingers through my hair; you're getting me dumb tight."

12. Thirsty = (adj) desperate; (n) someone who is desperate

"I didn't tag you in my photo because I don't want any thirsties following you."

Variations: thirsties (n)

13. Buggin' = freaking out; acting up

"My mom just asked me to clean all the dishes even though it's not my turn. She's buggin."

Synonyms: wylin'/wildin'

14. Son = (n) a good friend

"Of course I know him, that's my son!"

Synonyms: B

15. B = (n) a good friend

"What's good, B?"

16. Sus = shady or false

*Short for "suspect" or "suspicious"

"That girl is mad sus for looking at me like that."

17. Dead ass = (adj) seriously

"You're dead ass getting me tight, B."

*Could also be used as follows:

"Dead ass?" = Are you serious?

"Dead ass!" = Yes.

18. Guap = (n) money

"Okay, this to all of my enemies that seeing me gettin' guap right now." -- Big Sean

Synonyms: Mulah; dough; casheesh

19. Grimey = (adj) used to describe a back-stabber

"I'm telling you, bro. He's mad grimey, don't trust him."

20. You woulda thought = a more exciting way to say "no"

"You woulda thought I was going to let you use my laptop to log on to your shady-ass websites."

21. OD/Ohdee/Odee = (adj) excessive; an abbreviation for "over-doing"

"Man, my professor just assigned OD work on BlackBoard."

Synonyms: mad; dumb

22. Wylin'/Wildin' = out of control

"That girl was wildin' last night when she threatened to throw hands at you for no reason."

Synonyms: buggin'

23. Facts = (adj) something that is rooted in truth

"That's a fact, B."

Synonyms: true

24. Snuff = (v) to punch

"I should've never threatened to throw hands. He straight up snuffed me in the throat."

Synonyms: rock

25. Wavy = (adj) used to describe something that is cool or nice

"I’m so wavy in the turbo Porsche, she so wavy in the new Mercedes" -- Ty Dolla $ign

Synonyms: dope, lit

26. Kicks = (n) sneakers

"Where'd you cop those kicks from?"

27. Beef = (n) having a fight or holding a grudge against another person or group of people

"Tommy told me you guys have beef."

28. Ice = (n) jewelry

"Ice on my neck cost me 10 times 3." -- D.R.A.M.

Variations: icy (adj)

Cover Image Credit: BKNPK

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I Chose Not To Report The Man Who Sexually Assaulted Me

I wanted to move on and forget.

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You made me scared of men, you made me lose sleep, you made me question my sexuality - you are a pig. I hate you, I truly do. I became a victim of sexual assault because you lack self-control. But, do not thank me for saving you some jail time - I chose to keep it out of the hands of the law because of MYSELF.

After writing the article about my experience, I had people asking "Why did you not report him?" I wanted to, I really did... but after a traumatic experience, like that, you want to forget about it. While your mind wanders aimlessly about it 24/7, and you only see men in a negative way, your heart wants to heal.

Throughout the day I tried to avoid what really happened. At first, I took the situation as an "oh it was nothing" kind of event - but that night was when I felt it weigh heavy on my mind & heart. I reached out to a friend, who is a Criminology major, and searched for help. Was I going to be arrested for being intoxicated underage? Was I also going to face charges? That was not even my place!

I feared that every single thing I worked hard for was going to disappear because of a disgusting prick. I was going to lose my chances of becoming a nurse, I was going to be known as the girl who "asked for it," I was going to be viewed as nothing more than a VICTIM. I did not want to be a victim, I wanted to be a fighter. I wanted to prove to that monster that he was NOT going to be capable of destroying my life - my future.

I juggled the thought for days, nights, weeks and decided not to press any charges. I wanted to move forward in my life and grow from the experience. I might have done him a favor, a favor that he did not deserve, but I deserved happiness and not the darkness of having a case to worry about. I am a nursing student, I deal with enough stress - I was not going to add a court case to my plate. I also did not tell my parents about what happened. My father would have gone to jail, my mother would have blamed herself, and I did not want my other family members judging me - like they are well known for doing.

I kept this experience to myself, and a few close friends, because that was a decision I thought was best for me. Yes, I would have enjoyed seeing nothing more than that disturbed creep behind bars, but I did not want to keep bringing up the issue and living through the night over and over again. I am terrified of this guy, I am utterly petrified of what he is capable of doing, and I am haunted of the thought that there could be others - I deal with these dark thoughts constantly. I wish I was strong enough to tell send him these articles, to expose who he truly is, and send him to jail - but I can't.

I am strong. I am stronger than I was before. I am a victim of sexual assault, but I am more than just a victim. I am a fighter and I will continue to fight for myself and for other victims.

And to the one who caused me to view myself, the world, and men differently - I hope you rot in hell.

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