From the bottom of the pit that I have dug for myself, I cry out, because I just can't. I'm tired of trying to climb while only removing the earth from under my feet and sinking a little deeper into my anxiety and am overwhelmed. I am on the last stretch of the semester, but I cannot even force myself out of bed. Where is my fight? Where is my hope? Where is that urge I had to climb a little higher? It's all gone, and I just can't.
Luckily, I don't have to. I don't have to be the perfect woman or even the mediocre kid; I am free from labels. I do not have to rely on my own strength to get out of this slump. I don't have to do this by myself because of a man named Jesus.
I'm sure you have heard of Him at one point or another, and I am not trying to convince you to follow Him, but I am sharing what He has done for me. Over two thousand years ago, this child was born to a virgin and lived a perfect life even though, at times, the going got rough. My wrongdoings put Him on a cross, and even though He could have gotten down at any moment, He stayed there and suffered and died for me. But death could not hold him. Three days later, He rose from the grave and now lives forevermore. He is why I do not have to do this alone, because if He can conquer death and save my sin-stained soul, He can handle a little anxiety.
So where is my fight? What fight? I don't have to fight my battles anymore because Jesus has already won the war. I can wake up each morning with a lesser load because He has borne all of it and will carry me with all my anxiety and exhaustion. He is mighty enough to take care of the rough patches for me, and He sets me in the middle of them to remind me to trust in Him and to watch His hand at work.
Where is my hope? There is no greater place to have hope than in the Creator of the universe Himself. My hope does not include worldly things like my grades or future degree; my life doesn't hinge on any of this. I have an all-powerful God to put my hope in, and He will never let me down. I will fail; I will disappoint, but He never will, and my hope is secure in Him.
Where is my urge to climb higher? As long as I am stretching my arms and heart up to the Lord, I cannot quit rising. I cannot fall if my eyes are fixed on Him. This hole I have allowed myself to get in makes me laugh because it is no match for Love's hand reaching down to pluck me up.
You don't have to try to climb out alone because there is One who is holding out his hand waiting for you to let go of your shovel and rise.
From the end of the earth, I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:2
