Last night I went to a choir concert. I sat in the middle of an empty row and let the music melt the stress of the week away. No one was sitting next to me; in fact, I had the entire row to myself. It was quite relaxing, and I find that I have been doing more and more activities on my own for that reason, and—wait for it—I never feel lonely in the process. My friends and family often provide a fair share of pity when they realize I spend a large portion of my time alone to the point where I wonder if my behavior is abnormal, but then I picture what I would be like if I was constantly surrounded by the gossip and noise; you do not want to see or imagine that image. Trust me.
There is a growing stigma regarding those who are publically alone. It is so strong, that whenever I eat lunch by myself, I feel the need to pull out my phone and appear to be engaged in a virtual conversation rather than my own thoughts. I don’t want to look lonely. “Lonely” and “alone” look extremely similar, but I assure you they are not related. Loneliness overpowers me the most when I am in a large group of people because I often find that I can only hold a meaningful conversation with one or two of them.
As the pressure to surround ourselves with friends and acquaintances grows, we lose the tranquility that comes with losing yourself in your thoughts. I have a friend who told me that I am incredibly relaxed because I spend so much time alone, and while this made me chuckle, I couldn’t help but think of the validity of his comment. The more time I spend alone, the less I concern myself with the pressure of fitting a mold that others have created for me. I gain confidence in my beliefs and goals because I developed them on my own; they are not a combination of fifty different opinions.
Taking a break from society’s gossip and unrealistic expectations is vital, and that includes those in the virtual world. You can see the world through your eyes, and it can frightening at first. It forces you to develop your own interpretation of why we are here and to discover what you want to gain from the experience. There isn’t a Facebook quiz determining your personality or a stream of valueless “likes” to validate your decision to speak out against a presidential candidate. You are left to explore your mind, and this, in my opinion, is the cure for the “loneliness” epidemic. You shouldn’t feel lonely when you choose to be alone. Your thoughts should comfort you, but if you never get to know them, you will always have a lingering sense of loneliness. So try going to a movie by yourself or telling the waiter you need a table for one. Get to know yourself; you can do it the best.
