Stitches are a funny thing. There's stitches that dissolve on their own, ones that you have to go back and have removed…and there are the stitches we sew ourselves.

Grief I've learned is something that never truly disappears, you just learn to control it and live with it. Some grief crashes upon us like a wave, and some grief lingers around like a fog. No matter the type of grief, it never really goes away. We stitch ourselves up for a time, and something will trigger the return of the unpleasant memory, leaving us to figure out how to stitch the wound back up.

RECENTLY, I'VE TAKEN ON THIS LITTLE ADVENTURE AT WORK CALLED "STITCH CLUB".

Much like "Fight Club", you don't talk about it. 

Just kidding.

Its a club for my high school students to practice making scarves and other items to potentially donate at a local soup kitchen.

No really, I haven't talked about why Stitch Club actually came into focus for me. Around 4 months ago I was informed that a very dear person in my life would be fighting cancer. This person has been in my life since my memory can even begin. Having been raised as an Army brat, family ends up becoming the people that are right next door sometimes. Thanksgivings are filled with the same warmth, birthdays erupting in just as much laughter, and Christmas giving all of the love possible…we just may not share the same DNA.

There are certain people stamped into my life that should just always be there. My background check includes them, so my vision for the future must have them. This my friends is my denial. The "stitch" I've formed over my acceptance of what's really in front of me and the inevitable of most anything.

This special person taught me to crochet at 6 years old, she shares a passion for reading, loves to chat about any good movies and is an amazing cook. When she began teaching me to crochet, my mission was to crochet a scarf to send to my dad while he was overseas. Took a couple of years, but eventually my dad got a camoflauge wavy and very short scarf…at the age of 8 it looked big enough! Through the years she'd make special items for me, different colors and patterns. Almost everyone we know has pot holders! She is just so talented and has the best german accent.

4 months ago the only thing I could comprehend was that I could make something. I can't fix bad news, I can't create medical miracles, but I can make something. So I made a blanket. Every intention is in my body to gift her this blanket…but, remember how I said certain people should just be in my vision of the future? My fear of not having control over this is crippling. To the point where I don't acknowledge when things are happening. I haven't given the blanket. This hurts me so much because I know deep down I am capable of being a better person than this. I've created stitches that are so fragile and poorly stitched that it has disguised the whole purpose of who I am and the way I am suppose to love others.

Stitch Club became a motivation for me to do good in another direction, rather than facing the reality of someone I care so much about hurting. Selfishly, I took on distracting myself. When I can't control a particular area of my life, I obsess over other things. Like crocheting everyone I know a hat or scarf. Or coming up with wild projects for my kids to work on in the greenhouse..and convincing them they'll love learning how to crochet, ha!

Since beginning to teach my kids how to crochet, I am consistently reminded of my lessons. The time, the patience, the praise and the final products. Someone who spent that much time dedicated to a simple outcome that has lasted my lifetime deserves the world and all of the thanks.

This Thanksgiving was a wonderful time for me to give thanks for all the people in my life…the one's I've lost, the one's still here. Appreciate that my dad is now regularly home for holidays. That we still celebrate with people who aren't technically related to us, but love just the same. A time to seriously reflect on how others need to be loved, even if it means we hurt a little. It was a perfect time for me to remove some old stitches.

STAY GREEN

-rjw