John Mulaney Is The Man Who Makes Everyone's Heart Skip A Beat

He's tall, gorgeous, fashionable, and the funniest man on the planet. You truly won't find a better companion than the one and only John Mulaney. His charm and jokes blow Will Ferrell out of the water, and his smile makes everybody swoon. He may have disappointed UF by canceling his stellar appearance, but his lovely features make the disappointment easy to look past...kind of

John Mulaney is a stand-up comedian who has been active since 2004. His inappropriate jokes have appealed to people of all ages and he gives every viewer a six-pack caused by the uncontrollable laughs. From discussions regarding his dog Petunia to talking about how he thinks he was meant to be a homosexual, this man will have you begging for more.

He's the perfect guy because he's just so relatable. His quote "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin" is one of the most famous. We've all been there. There's no better relief than the weight off your shoulder of knowing you don't have to attend the events you promised to be a part of. Some just aren't too understanding, but he gets it. What a guy.

John Mulaney has the cutest dog on the planet, Petunia. Admit it, if someone has a dog pic on their profile, there's a 101% chance you're going to swipe right. Here's a famous excerpt from his famous series The Comeback Kid:

"Petunia is my best friend in the world. I give her a million kisses a day. She does not like me, and barks at me and bites me all day long. We had to get a dog trainer into the apartment because Petunia is a bad dog. We tell her that every day. We go, “Hey, you’re bad at being a dog.” So, the trainer came into the apartment. Sorry, didn’t even walk into the apartment, walked into the threshold and went, “Oh, okay.” Like she was an exorcist or something. She said, “I see what the problem is.” She said, “Petunia has become the alpha of the house.” And then she pointed at me, she said, “You are no longer the alpha of the house.” And in the back of my head, I was like, “I was never the alpha of the house.” I turned to my wife, I was like, “Let’s pretend.""

She's cute and she's sassy, just like her dad.

John Mulaney is honest. It might come across as offensive, but somebody has to be the one to give people a wake up call when they really need one.