Our culture, rightly so, places a lot of value on romantic relationships. Relationships are one of the greatest gifts we've been given.
This value judgment only becomes a problem when we, like so many others around us, begin to elevate these relationships to the place of highest importance in our lives. We are all prone to do this, whether we're in a relationship or not.
When we're in that relationship, we tend to deceive ourselves, saying we would be perfectly happy if he/she would just do this, stop being that way, live up to the expectations that we built up in our anticipation of the fulfillment that would come with this relationship.
When we're single and wanting that relationship, we unknowingly set ourselves up for this disappointment by building up unrealistic expectations for the fulfillment that can only come with the entrance of our significant other.
"Then, I'll be happy," we tell ourselves.
I mean, how could we possibly be expected to have joy and contentment when everyone else has "their person" and are going on dates and getting engaged and having kids and making waffles with their coffee on Saturday mornings?
We realize how ridiculously idealized these thoughts are when we examine ourselves and our thought lives. We only focus on the negatives of now and the highlights of the future and tell ourselves we can only find satisfaction in this thing, this person, this relationship.
Seeing this attitude is especially sad to me in the Christian community because we already have a relationship that is infinitely better and more fulfilling than any human relationship could offer.
St. Augustine once wrote of our relationship with God:
"You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find themselves in You."
And that stands so true still today, 1,700 years later.
Relationships fail. People fail. Jesus never does.
People change their minds, lose interest, fall out of love. Jesus never changes, even when we do.
He is faithful when we are faithless. His love is unconditional and understanding and selfless when our love is lukewarm, cold or altogether gone.
Jesus is better. His love is better and He has promised never to leave us or forsake us.
Seek Jesus first before you seek a relationship. Find your worth and joy and fulfillment in Him. And then enjoy your relationship if that's what He has given you. Love your significant other with the love that you've been shown in Christ.
And, if that's not where you are right now, "in a relationship," then you're not missing out on anything.
Psalm 34:10 says that
"Those who seek the LORD lack no good thing."
And Hebrews 11:6 says
"That He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."
If it's good for you, it's coming and it will come in His perfect timing.
In the meantime, enjoy Him and the Love that He offers rather than being distracted by the dim reflections of His love in the humans around us.
Besides, you're already a part of THE greatest Love story of all time.
