“Why would you do that? You’re not going to be able to do anything with that,” was said with a chuckle. “You’re wasting your money if that’s what you’re studying here.” At this moment, I was stunned into silence as a friend of mine, who had casually asked about my plans for a major, berated my response of, “I’m not sure. I would love to do something with photography, but we’ll see.”
As an Exploratory (undecided) student at Ithaca, I’m given the opportunity of taking a variety of classes. While I have a long list of things I don’t want to pursue and subjects I’m uninterested in, there is a longer lists of courses and future job prospects that I’m curious about. Being an exploratory student, I’m given the opportunity to “explore my options” by having the freedom to take a variety of classes while I work towards making an important decision about the path I would like to take. I'm able to choose my courses based on my already existing interests including English, History, Writing and, most importantly to me, Photography.
I can’t expect the person who made those comments to have known I picked up my first camera when I was 7 years old, nor can they know I purchased my first DSLR in 8th grade with money I had saved through middle school. They couldn’t have known I did film and digital photography freshman, sophomore, and junior year of high school, and I doubt they knew that I spent my senior year in the most intensive teen program they offer at the International Center of Photography, commuting from my home in New Jersey to New York City after school to learn and work at the incredible institution. I can’t hold them accountable for not knowing my love of expressing myself through photography. And, as much as I would like to, I can’t blame them for derailing my progress and giving up on my art for a substantial amount of time.
Their words came as a blow to me, punching me in the gut and completely knocking the creative spirit out of me. My art, something I had been so assured of and impassioned by, suddenly was called into question: Did my pictures actually have any value? Was I “good enough” to be pursuing this? Why bother if I’m not going to “make it”?
Fortunately, with enough contemplation, support, and the need to meet deadlines for my photo assignments, the hunger to create returned. While I still question myself, and consider my own art with a more careful, diligent eye, the worry of meeting others' expectations of me has (almost) disappeared. I’ve learned to set expectations for myself and not let the opinions that others have regarding what I should be doing with my future, affect me.
I believe that if you are saying something about an individual’s future goals and aspirations, it should radiate nothing but support. It is not our place to criticize one another’s ambitions. Who are we to deter an individual from future accomplishments and prospects because we don’t agree with their decisions? Each and every human has their own unique thoughts and experiences that effects their path in life. And it is not our place to detract from their experiences and shove our own down their throats.
Rather than placing negativity on people’s passions, let's encourage, support, and admire. Let’s shower one another in positivity because there is far enough standing in the way of our dreams already. We don't need to have friends that act as road blocks on the way our goals. If support and consideration is not possible, I suggest silence. As our mothers have told us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
