This past week I have had a mix of all kind of emotions, thoughts and new understanding. I have stirred around many thoughts in my head. It seemed as if life was going to get better and maybe this season of life was fading. As a good friend of mine would say, God stopped and put up the double lines or simply said pause. I can picture Him saying this, "Stop; this season is not over you do not have control of my plan, I do!" There are people who have cared for me so well through this season and I can speak the world of them. However, many people in my life have filled my head with thoughts that make me want to push God away because I am not good enough for him/her so how could I be good enough for God. I have heard it all either word for word or through actions and body language. There is a song called "Simple Gospel" that has a chorus that goes like this:
Lord, I’ve been told to be ashamed
Lord, I’ve been told I don’t measure up
Lord, I’ve been told I’m not good enough
But you’re here with me
I thought I had a pretty tough skin, but this past year has shown me different. I have had people question my academics, my relationships and my faith. All of those topics are something that I care very passionately about. I have found myself questioning at different places all week at times on long walks, sitting in my car in silence, and even on my knees crying and questioning verbally.
Thankfully, our God is SO awesome that He shows us the answer to our questioning in Ecclesiastes 3:14-15, which says “I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.”
Words hurt and actions hurt even more. The Bible however tells us how to handle those rough patches and situations you do not know what to deal with. Ecclesiates 3 shows us that there is a time for every stage in life. "...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” Sure, right now in my life, I’ve come to accept that it might not necessarily be a “time to dance.”
However, that time will come and the Bible declares that later on there will be a time to dance! I am so psyched for that day and how much I will cherish it! Seasons of life are constantly changing. Therefore, my hope is to do the best that I can to live each moment to the fullest, no matter the situation. I will strive to understand that even if I stumble, the Lord will always love me.
