There is a certain feeling you get after a breakup. It’s a soul-shattering feeling that rips out your heart and leaves a dark hole where it used to sit so perfectly in your chest. You feel so lost. Like you are stranded in the middle of the ocean, waiting and waiting, just hoping to be saved. What is even more terrifying then that feeling is that you don’t know who you are anymore.
Whether your relationship lasted a couple of months or even a couple of years, time does not factor into the amount of yourself that you gave to this person. You don’t go into a relationship thinking that it is going to be temporary. You go in trying; otherwise don’t go in at all. People deserve trust, loyalty, and most importantly, they deserve your all; every piece of you, flawed and all. So when you dive head first into this magnificent new beginning, you don’t expect to get your heart broken. But, sometimes, it happens, and that is OK. I am a true believer in things happening for a reason. However, that doesn’t take away from how painful it is to you or how empty it leaves you. You spent days, weeks, or even years with this person. They know what makes you tick. They know your insecurities, the things that make your eyes smile, and even the things that make your heart ache. They know you and you know them and somewhere during this relationship you began to loose yourself. You only realized this after they were gone, after it was really over.
You wake up missing them, and go to bed wishing they were there, lying next to you. After you aced that exam that you studied for for weeks, you wish you could call them and tell them. When you get accepted into the program of your dreams, you want to celebrate with them, and only them. When that song comes on the radio that makes you think of them, you can’t help but cry. You spent a forever within the number of days you were with this person. You created a life together and now you don’t know how to be happy again. You don’t know how to walk down the street without wishing they were there next to you, holding your hand. You know it takes time and you will get there, but you want this feeling to go away now. You want to learn to walk again, to breathe easier. But most of all, you want you back.
Unfortunately, no one can help you find yourself again. With time, you will. But I can tell you this -- there is so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There is a beautiful world out there that you have yet to encounter. Spend your days building yourself back up again. But always look to build yourself into a better person. Go on adventures, volunteer, do things you have never done before, appreciate how beautiful nature really is, go on camping trips with a group of your closest friends, lay in the grass and look at the stars or wake up really early just to watch the sunrise. Surround yourself with nothing but love and do all things with love.
I know it hurts, right now. But I can promise you that you will be okay and you will find yourself again. First, you have to fall in love with yourself again. Heal yourself, know yourself, and respect yourself. Before you know it, you will be staring in the mirror, fixing your makeup, and it will hit you -- you made it. You were stronger than you thought. You found yourself again. And that within itself is the most beautiful thing in this world.
