For the past three years, I had been in a relationship that people usually dream of having. We were your typical high school sweethearts. My boyfriend and I encouraged each other to keep pushing toward our goals. During high school, we would spend every second together. We would sit next to each other, helping each other out during class. We went to prom together. We cheered each other on during our high school graduation. We even went on vacation together to see sights that were breathtaking. If you were to look for him, you would see me standing right next to him. Our relationship was something beautiful. We were so attached that I even saw myself marrying him.
When I went away for college, we started drifting apart. Being together was killing us. The distance ruined our relationship. We couldn't bear not seeing each other. I even debated transferring back home so that I can be close to him. But I was not going to be happy knowing I sacrificed an amazing academic scholarship for a guy. He could not be with me with the idea that he caused me to give up my education.
Luckily after our inevitable break up, we still remain good friends to this very day. Every time we spoke, I still had a pinch of hope that we would eventually work it out. I needed to completely cut him out of my life in order to move on. As easily as we clicked, we went back to being complete strangers. How could someone who knows every quirk, every secret, everything about you forget you exist?
Of course that break up is still one of the hardest moments that I went through. I needed to focus on myself. I needed to focus on my career. I couldn't waste time worrying about another person when I had to make sure I was happy. It was not easy. I still have those little moments where any little thing reminds me of him. I distracted myself with my friends and my coursework.
I even started meeting people. I've been on dates with amazing people. But am I ready to embark on another serious relationship? Not yet. Nobody has met my current mindset. I do not want to be with someone who doesn't match my vision. I have been hurt so badly that I do not want to invest my soul into someone who will probably let me down.
Don't get me wrong. It is perfectly OK to miss your ex. Do not let anyone tell you different. It is perfectly OK to reminisce on moments that once made you smile from ear to ear. It is OK to meet someone new and have fun for as long as you want to. It is your life and time will tell you when you are ready to embark on another relationship. It's OK to move on.
