In their life, one might have about twenty "real" friends. There are the friends that you call your “friends”, but they are actually just acquaintances who you occasionally see and catch up with at your convenience. Then, there are the friends who are actually your friends, but you don’t open yourself up to them fully. And then there are the “real” friends who you can be yourself with. These are the people who know everything about you and are the first people you text when you want to do something fun.
Sadly, people get busier and put their friendships to the back burner. For the friends at college with you, it’s easier to keep in touch with them because you can see them everyday if you want. But the relationships with friends back at home are the ones that are the most difficult to keep up with. You lose touch and your friend has taken a different direction from you, whether that be physically or mentally.
Something that I’ve learned after developing relationships with so many different kinds of people is that some people put in the work and some people don’t. Friendships are difficult to maintain and keep because they are a two-way street. Since it takes two to tango, if one person doesn’t make an effort or care about the things that are going on in the other's life, it’s almost impossible to keep that friendship because the hardworking friend starts to feel unwanted.
People change, things happen, and life goes on without these people. Above all else, if a relationship is hindering any part of you being the best that you can be, work it out or get out of it. Some people, as sad as it is, are negative and toxic, and if you’re not happy in your relationship with this person, try to fix it or leave.
People need time for themselves. From school, to sports, to spending time with family, we all need to relax at some point in the day with all of the chaos in our everyday lives. It becomes hard as we get older to make social life a priority when we have so many other things going on. Unfortunately, some people don’t understand that their friends can’t hang out all of the time. If you need to focus on something important to you and your friend doesn’t understand or can’t accept that, then that is an easy way to determine that they’re not someone to keep around.
On the other hand, people use excuses for not being able to hang out with "being busy" with so many different reasons that after a while, I ultimately give up and wait for them to reach out. It’s interesting to play the game of waiting for them to text you first to ask to make plans because sometimes they never do and then you know you weren’t in their mind in the first place. Attempting to keep a relationship strong if it’s not meant to be strong in the first place is exhausting and takes away from the time you could be spending bettering yourself.When it comes to friends, quality is more important than quantity. Make lasting memories with your best friends is more valuable than trying to please so many people that you’re straining yourself to be friends with.
Now that I only have two years left of college, I am starting to see who my real friends are. I’ve realized that it’s okay to lose friends because with every one that is lost, I learn from my mistakes and develop an even better friendship with the ones that stuck by me.
