As a young woman, who has had a few relationships, I have learned one thing. It is okay to be picky about who I am with or rather who I will spend my future with. It tends to be frowned upon by society as a woman to have "dates" because of the double standard behind women vs. men. I like to think of dating as a tool to really get to know a person for who they are. In this day in age, I feel that more people are getting hurt because they are choosing to follow the norms of society by engaging in the popular "netflix and chill" or in the "talking stage". It feels like no one wants to put themselves out there in the way that will benefit them in the long run when it comes to relationships. I have learned from my past relationships, what I like and dislike in a person. I have also learned what I will accept and not accept in a relationship. People can call me picky, that's quite okay. I refuse to lessen my ideas and thoughts to suite the needs of others who just want to "chill". I decided that I will be picky with whoever I decide to date and you should too. So I decided to share some questions, I find myself asking when I am on a date or in the past in relationships.
1. Do I see this for the long term?
2. Is this someone my family and friends would deem okay?
3; Am I truly going to be happy with this person?
4. Are they or will they try to change my ideas and wants for a relationship?
5. Will they accept my boundaries in a relationship?
6. Is this person going to be truly honest with me?
Although, the point isn't to knock dating. As I am getting older, I am seeing the importance of taking a step back and really making decisions especially when it comes to my boundaries. I don't think anyone should settle. In the long run settling will only making you unhappy and the other person probably won't see it that way. I am in no way knocking anyone for "chilling" "netflix and chill" or whatever you choose to do. I think that its important to ask yourself a bunch of questions because your happiness is what is truly important. I have decided to be picky, especially with my recent decision to be more religious. I do see my worth. Every young woman should see it too because life is short and happiness is something you shouldn't let slide by you. I hope that reading this enlightened you to think of life past the present moment. Granted you should cherish those moments, but your future matters just as much. I like to think of next relationships just as a future job, with importance, integrity, love and happiness. Who doesn't want a happy life? So what I am overall saying is, it is okay to be picky and have a list. Don't let anyone tell you other wise.
Wish you all the best!