These are words of affirmation to my loved ones, my close friends, and to you who are all trying to grasp the situation of unrealistic goals and expectations set by others. I think it’s time for you to be happy and realize you are enough.
I’ve had so many people tell me that they’re tired. But that’s no surprise, living life day by day trying to reach society’s standards or family’s standards of beauty, success, and lifestyle is tiresome.
It feels like you’re drowning and you’ve been tied up by the weight of expectations and standards. You’re frustrated because when you’re unsuccessful, you find yourself sinking deeper but the moment you have reached achievement someone else decides to add more weight.
You’re not alone feeling like you’re not good enough or perhaps a pawn in this world. Everyone is hurting from this. Even I ask “when will I be enough for the whole wide world?” “How much more of myself can I give before there's nothing left?” I’ve apologized left and right, “I’m sorry I’m not good enough”, “I’m so sorry I failed you”, and “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
I’ve even had someone tell me “You’re never going to be good enough” and I remember beating myself up about it for so long asking myself, “What can I do to be better?” “What can I do to be loved?” “What can I do to not be me anymore?”
Some of us have even stopped to look in the mirror and wondered who is that? We’ve been trying so hard to be good enough for others that we have lost sight of ourselves. We turn to self-hate and we begin to envy others who we feel have it “better” than us. At times, we wish we were them and we can't help but loathe ourselves even more.
It’s time for us to ask ourselves, “When will I ever be enough for myself?” “When will I learn that it's okay to say no for the better sake of my health?” “When will I learn that's it's okay for me to fail at something? “When will I learn that perhaps the person who is setting these unrealistic standards of myself is me?”
We confuse expectations of the world around us to be the ultimate goal to reach. But it’s time to realize that you should be the one to set the goals you want for yourself. It’s time to stop thinking about everyone around us and think about yourself and do what you need to do for yourself. I’ve also learned that when you give it your all to the best of your abilities it turns out that it’s not that you’re not good enough, but perhaps, you so enough that they mistake it as otherwise.
I admire your strength because you’ve made it this far and haven’t given up. But I think it’s time to realize something about you and me… we are important. We are valid. We have self-worth. We are good enough.
One of my best friends told me that “we need to forgive ourselves. We're too mean to ourselves. It prevents us from being who we really need to be. That doesn't mean to give ourselves a free pass for everything in life (we still need to be responsible for ourselves, our actions, and our futures), but being able to love ourselves and be open with the honest picture of who we are and what we're capable of is important.”
It’s okay to let go of these unrealistic expectations and standards of everyone. It’s okay to want to be happy for yourself. It’s okay to finally live for yourself.It’s okay to just be enough for yourself.