Why It's Okay To Be Selfish

Why It's Okay To Be Selfish

Do you, boo.
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It’s okay to be selfish. Yes, I said it and I mean it. It’s okay to be selfish. Now, don’t take that out of context. I’m not saying to be mean to others, hurt animals or treat others horribly. However, in the 21st century everyone is always thinking about themselves. Everyone is out to make their life easier. People want to use others to get what they want no matter what it takes, and you cannot let that happen. Let me tell you why…

It may sound cliché, but if you lie down, other people will walk all over you. I don’t care if it is at school, at work, with friends or in a relationship, you cannot let other people take advantage of your niceness because unfortunately, nice guys finish last. If you’re too nice, people will take advantage of you. In no way, shape, or form am I saying to be mean to people. That’s not it. I am saying that you need to think about yourself. If that makes you selfish, then you’re selfish. You need to think about what will matter in the end. If someone doesn’t understand that you cannot hang out because you have a paper due or a test, then oh well. Clearly that person isn’t a true friend. True friends want to see you succeed. They want to see you happy. If they don’t understand…bye! If you’re being treated poorly by a significant other and they think it's okay to blatantly disrespect you and use you in order to make others jealous means they don’t respect your feelings or you at all. Not to sound harsh, but that means you need to think about yourself and get rid of this toxic relationship. Think about yourself for once. Don’t let other people control you. Don’t let people think you are too nice and take advantage of that.

Being selfish doesn’t mean that you hate others or that you don’t care about others. However, everyone else puts themselves first, so then why should you not think about yourself too? If you need to have a girls night or stay in and watch Netflix, then do so. If you need to go to the library and study, then do that. If you have been hurt before, realize that you cannot let that happen again. You need to stand up for yourself and realize what a strong person you are. People may not always get along. People may treat others wrong. However, treat others the way you want to be treated. You cannot expect everyone to act the way you do. I can promise you that if you think everyone acts as you do, you will be a very disappointed person. I can say that from personal experience. I know I have thought that people may be as thoughtful or kind as I wish to be and then am deeply disappointed when they prove themselves not to be. That’s why it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to put your feelings first. If you feel like going that extra mile spreads you too thin, don’t do it. Think about your well-being. If you’re not happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend any longer, then let go of that negative situation that is holding you back. Be selfish with your feelings. Be selfish with your time and know what is right for you in your heart to make the best of what this beautiful life has to offer.

Cover Image Credit: Bethany Beach Ocean Suites

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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20 Things I'd Do If The Concept Of Time Was Abolished

If only our lives weren't limited by time.

amrojas
amrojas
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Recently, news outlets have been reporting on how the people of Sommarøy, a Norwegian island located north of the arctic circle, would like to remove the concept of time. This is largely in part due to the fact that the sun does not set during much of the summer nor does it rise during the winter. The inhabitants of Sommarøy do not have rigidly separated days and nights like the rest of the world and can be found doing normal daytime activities at 2 am in the summers.

They also would like to take clocks out of their society. Although this lifestyle might seem impractical to the rest of us, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world where time is irrelevant, in regards to the concept AND the physical effects of its passing. This newfound information gave rise to ideas of things (some simple, some whimsical) I'd do if the concept of time did not exist and we had as much time to do the things we wanted.

1. Live on a ship at sea.

2. Watch a flower grow from a seed to its death.

3. Apply as much makeup as desired without being late.

4. Retake my favorite college courses and participate as fully as I possibly can, including the completion of every single reading and film.

5. Take a non-stop trip through every country in the world.

6. Learn to play and fully master every single musical instrument in existence.

7. Watch a full rotation of Earth around the sun from space.

8. Live by myself in a cabin at the edge of the woods a la Thoreau.

9. Reread every single book that shaped my childhood.

10. Have a brief conversation with every old friend.

11. Re-drink that first sip of the perfect cup of coffee.

12. Observe how the tides change with the lunar cycle.

13. Learn as many languages as possible.

14. Sit at the beach and listen to music for days.

15. Train for an Olympic event.

16. Write a detailed, thorough analysis of every track in my favorite movie soundtracks.

17. Take a photo of every interesting place I visit and every little nook I find peace in and make a physical photo album.

18. Cook food without burning it.

19. Watch a star's life cycle from birth to death.

20. Replay the feeling of coming home.

amrojas
amrojas

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