I Am The Farthest Thing From A 'Daddy's Girl,' But That's My Father's Loss

I Am The Farthest Thing From A 'Daddy's Girl,' But That's My Father's Loss

He doesn't know what he's missing out on...
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I never will be a daddy’s girl.

One thing is for sure, I am definitely not a daddy’s girl.

I am the farthest thing away from that and I am okay with it. I have come to the conclusion I am not one of my brothers, so I am less important than they are. I am less important because I am a girl and I probably won't like hunting and fishing and all that.

Well, guess what, it’s his loss because I LOVE fishing.

My dad doesn’t realize that what he’s doing to me is tearing me apart, it kills me to sit here and not be involved. No, I am not saying I want to be involved in everything they do, but I would like to be invited sometimes! I want to feel a little important to him. I know that’s not going to happen, though.

He doesn’t even take the time to get to know me as a person or my interests which is his loss, not mine.

He hasn’t even taken the time to get to know the business I have created for myself for me to grow - which if you ask me is kind of pathetic. It would be nice if at least once he told me he was proud of me.

He has done some things that have made me feel like I am an inconvenience to him. He seems to always be annoyed when I’m around. I don’t know what I ever did to him but whatever I did, I’m sorry.

I'm sorry I am not one of the boys.

I’m sorry I didn’t really play sports like they did/do. Even when I did do sports you never even cared to come to a single game or anything.

You jump for any event my brothers have going on or an award ceremony or something, but whenever I had something going on, you didn’t even come... Not even to an art show and those meant so much to me. You never came to any of my school functions but were right there for my brothers.

I am very hopeful that sometime in the future you will open up and let me in.

I am 21 years old now and you have kept me on the outside for this long. I know it’s wishful thinking, but I hope maybe, just maybe, you will get to know me as a person.

One day, I want you to ask “Hey, Court, want to go fishing with me and the boys?” but I know that’s crazy to ask and wish for. Maybe you will realize I am here, too, it’s not all about them.

Cover Image Credit: Pixnio

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Blocking Toxic Family Members Can Be Just What You Needed

It isn't an easy choice but it can be the most rewarding.

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I haven't written for the Odyssey in quite some time due to this large issue in my life that I feel some people may also need to hear. Watching your parents go through a divorce can be difficult in itself, but what about having to remove one of your parents from your life at the same time? It's something I don't think many people could imagine doing. However, sometimes you are forced into the position between choosing what is best for your mental health or what is expected of you. For me, I realized that I needed to put myself first.

I realized that I am my own person. How I present myself and how I act and what I choose to believe in is how the world perceives me. I was faced with a parent who did not let me be who I am. The way I thought had to be in line with theirs. What I openly spoke about had to be in line with that parent's thoughts. This also, in turn, meant I had to revolve how I was perceived to the world around that parent's family. I had to abide by these societal norms and do what someone else expected of me. I realized that was ludicrous.

This parent was also abusive. They were toxic and manipulative and I could not stand idly by and just take that from them while also trying to become an independent young adult. I was forced to sit and watch one of my parents transform into someone I didn't recognize anymore. I had to watch them ignore any kind of reality checks and continue to feign innocence. I watched one of my parents mentally manipulate people I once called family into believing lies. I kept my head down and shut my mouth and kept taking the abuse. Now I'm at a point where I can confidently say that I am no longer afraid.

I was forced to cut ties with a parent that raised me, cared for me, attended school functions, fixed toys, bought me my first phone. I was forced to chuck out priceless memories for my own sanity. I could not sit idly by and allow myself to endure one more second of lies or abuse. I had to stand up for myself for once in my life and I blocked most of my family. I blocked cousins, aunts, uncles, and godparents. I changed my phone number that I had since 6th grade. I gave no warning and disappeared from my family's lives. Do I have regrets? No. I would do it again if I had to because I am so much stronger than sitting there and taking it.

I will have one less parent at my college graduation, which I am fighting so hard to achieve. I will have one less parent at my wedding. My future children will have one less grandparent. I mope in these thoughts but then I have to remember the other side of things. I will not have an unsupportive parent at my graduation and instead will have those that were there every step of the way. I will lack someone who was toxic at my wedding. My future children will never have to face the same abusive, toxic situations that my parent put me through. It was a difficult decision to make but one that I know in my heart is worthwhile.

Cutting a family member out of your life is difficult enough but cutting a parent is unimaginable. However, no one deserves to go through abusive situations. It shouldn't matter who the person is; if someone is treating you less than you deserve to be treated, they have no use being in your life. You should always be your first priority. You should never have to endure something for the sake of others. I am here to tell you that you are more than that and that cutting out a family member could actually be the best thing for you, even if it's incredibly difficult. I did it and I'm still here. It made me realize who my real family was, and there will never be enough thank you's in the world to show my mother just how much I appreciate her.

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