At the end of a lesson a teacher will say, “so does anyone have any questions?” It is in this moment that if you were unclear of a something you would ask for help. But nine times out of ten you would just sit there, confused rather than admit you need help. Now that theory applies to more than just the classroom, see as humans we would rather internalize our issues, and deal with them alone than admit something is going on. Then admit we might not be okay, that we are struggling and that we can’t deal with everything that life has thrown us recently.
I wonder why that is, why instead of asking for help we simply say, “I’m fine” we simply choose to take on the load alone. Is it because we are ashamed? Because we are too afraid to burden others with the deep dark troubles that lie within us all. Because isn’t it reasonable to think that that same person you hid your troubles from has them as well? Those deep dark troubles could very well have crossed their minds as well. We all have them, but we refuse to talk about them.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid, in my head that’s how I justify keeping things to myself. Telling myself that in a few hours, or days, those feelings, those deep dark scary ones will go away. But sometimes, they don’t. Sometimes they form a pit in my stomach that makes it impossible to move, and hard to breathe.
I think it’s time we start talking about how we really feel, even if it’s just to one person, once a day. Instead of saying “I’m fine, how are you” we could be honest. No one wants to be the person with issues, or to rely on someone else to help them cope with whatever it is they are feeling. But it’s those stigmas that will stop us from every seeking the help we need and deserve.
See we live in a society where things are better left unsaid, so take your anxiety medication and deal with it. Keep quiet about the fact that you had to force yourself out of bed today and put a smile on your face because no one wants to talk about what its really like to feel those lows. Don’t share your true feelings and just pretend you are okay, because no one wants to deal with.
I don’t have the answers but I know that there has to be some sort of strategy to take us out of the hole we have made for ourselves. It’s time to talk about the deep, dark scaries, it’s time to talk about those feelings. Most importantly, it’s time to stop making people feel bad for going through whatever it is they are experiencing. Life is hard, and sometimes it really sucks, and those feelings, they are important. They let us know were human, those emotions they keep us centered and grounded. So be a friend, be a listening ear, and most importantly make sure that no one in your life every experiences those lows alone.