One year has passed since I’ve played a college dual tennis match. But it feels like it was just yesterday that I was in Minnesota playing my final match. Now seeing my team with new members, uniforms and seniors ready to take on their final season, the reality is all too real.

Since graduating, I’ve been asked if I miss tennis and competitive athletics. There are some things that I miss, and there are some things that would only make my life more stressful if I were to have the chance to go back.

I miss the thrill of winning seeing as how I’m still competitive at everything I do. I miss traveling around the country to different cities for matches. I miss the girls and just having a racquet in my hand for the sole purpose of representing a university and athletic department. It was more than just a chance to win a match for my team and I--it was a chance to win for Rutgers who holds their athletics in such high regards.

But there are some things that I don’t miss, as most people can imagine. I don’t miss waking up at five in the morning every day to make sure I have a suitable breakfast for 8:00 a.m. practice. I don’t miss the grueling workout sessions where I couldn’t move a muscle without feeling sore for days after. Academics wise I couldn’t count how many hours of sleep I lost to do homework because there weren’t enough hours during the day between practice, lift and class.

Lastly, there’s always the question of if I would go back if I could and as much as I love the sport, my time in college athletics has come and gone. Whether it was only one month in between or one year, time isn’t a factor as to why I wouldn’t go back to competitive tennis. With shin splints and Achilles tendonitis causing me a lot of pain during college, they’re not something I want to relive if I were to go back. It caused me to sit out of a lot of really intense matches and spent a majority of a semester in a boot.

But most importantly, that’s a chapter of my life that’s been written and closed. Going back wouldn’t accomplish anything except trying to relive something that has already fulfilled its purpose in my life. All I need to focus on in my life is moving forward and finding something else to become my life’s purpose. I’ve already taken steps towards that goal, I’ve found a job, started making progress in my novel and found a new sport to try and excel in.

It’s been one year since I started my final season of competitive tennis. Tennis was a constant in my life since I was three years old. One year away compared to 19 years of endless hours on the court and in the gym, flew by in an instant. I blinked and now the new squad of girls are getting ready to compete against some of the greatest teams in the country. But they are doing it together, which is what made my time as a college athlete so special.