Don’t Be Scared to Feel Vulnerable
Being vulnerable means you are susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. It’s scary to feel like you are being judged by the world. It’s scary to show parts of yourself to people you don’t know. It’s scary to break down and cry. You fear the reaction; whether it is from others or yourself. But I want to tell you that it is okay to be vulnerable.
It is okay to be vulnerable because it invites honesty.
If you open up yourself to a friend, family member, or partner it breaks down any boundaries in the relationship. It means that there is no subject that's off limits. There is no lying, circling around the truth, or omitting the truth. Honesty also parallels to communication. How could you have a good relationship without communication? One cannot know your true feelings without communicating what those feelings are. And effective communication means you speak from the heart and with the truth. Honesty is not supposed to come in fifty shades of grey; it is either black or white. Honesty can be hard sometimes. You may be forced to tell your parents about a mistake you already regret or tell someone you have been hiding something. Honesty can be a relief too. You may feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders when you confess your actions or tell someone your true feelings. Honesty makes you feel vulnerable. You begin to reveal parts of yourself or opinions that no one else knew. Do not hold back your feelings. Honesty can be hard, but destroying a relationship because you withheld your true self is worse than anything else.
It is okay to be vulnerable because in humility, you will find strength.
Breakups suck. There are plenty of friends I have lost in my lifetime, and there are plenty of boys who have walked over my heart. I felt damaged, broken and scared to get attached again. I was embarrassed that I was not someone’s first choice, and I was embarrassed to see a friend I had to cut ties off with when my mom said they weren’t a good influence. This state of vulnerability makes you want to crawl into bed and sleep until a better day comes around. You feel as if every breath is forced because there is a weight on your chest. Your heart aches as if it were empty. I read a quote somewhere that really stuck with me when I was struggling with this type of vulnerability. It states that “Life’s like a piano. The white keys representing happiness and the black keys representing the sadness in between. But as life goes on, you’ll realize that the black keys make music, too.” This quote has stuck with me and I hope it sticks with you too. Our sadness does not define us. It is okay to not be okay. It doesn’t matter who broke your heart, took you for granted and left because that person does not define your worth. Your strength comes from within. This feeling of vulnerability makes you more prepared for your future. You guard your heart and believe in yourself. If you love yourself, it only means more love for you when more people decide to love you too.
It is okay to be vulnerable because through fear, you will become brave.
The things that frighten me the most don’t even have a physical form (besides snakes and spiders). Thoughts, words, love, isolation, and pain are all frightening. These are things you feel with your entire body. It is the things we feel that are scarier than the things we touch. Why is that, you may ask? It is because sometimes our own minds are our worst enemies. You may lie down at night, with your head resting on your pillow, body tucked into your covers and surroundings of pitch-black darkness, but you hear a voice. It is the voice inside your head that is overthinking and over stimulating your emotions. Why do we concern ourselves with the worst possible scenarios? It’s scary to think that maybe your sister could move across the world one day all by herself, it is scary to think that one day your fur baby isn’t going to greet you every time you come home, and it is scary to think that you might actually become that crazy cat lady. Even though we may concern ourselves with such beliefs, we begin to prepare ourselves. Nothing should get in the way of our happiness. Accept what scares you. Let your fear encourage you to do better. Love better, hug better, and study better. Through being vulnerable in your fears and finding acceptance to enhance yourself, you become brave.
It is okay to be vulnerable because it means you care.
I have cried like 5023984 times because of school stress. And do not ever try to convince a nursing student, “don’t cry over spilled milk”. Nothing is spilled milk in nursing school. For all you other majors or students, I’m sure you feel the exact same way. School is critical to your future because you may not have a backup plan or you may not want to do anything else. On the other hand, you may be a parent who struggles to appease all the needs of the family. Keeping up a household is strenuous and is not recognized enough. You may be stressed because you feel like you have been exhausting all of your abilities and efforts, and nothing shows for all your hard work. I promise that you are not alone. There are people just like you who feel this same type of vulnerability. It’s draining to try day after day and you can’t help but feel disheartened. I promise that your efforts matter. I promise that you are smart enough. I promise you are a good parent. Do not compare yourself to someone else. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. When you feel hopeless, focus on your progress. Look at where you are in the “now”. All your hard work got you there. You will do great things and great things take time. Continue to believe in yourself. You clearly care about whatever it may be. If you didn’t care, you would not be feeling spread too thin. You are vulnerable in your stress, which only means that you care and you should not be ashamed to care.
Don’t be scared to be vulnerable.
Be honest, find strength, be brave and care. Being vulnerable does not make you weak, it does not make you abnormal; vulnerability makes you a better person. I love vulnerability because it makes me feel human. For those who are like me and believe in a God who loves us unconditionally, he sees us as vulnerable people. We are always tempted between the light and the dark. It is us who are left with a choice to choose God. It is us who are left with a choice to let vulnerability be a weakness or strength. What are you going to choose?
