This has never been said out loud, but everyone knows it. It seems that the unspoken required norm in college is to always be “good” and “OK.” This includes constantly moving and being connected. If you’re not studying, you’re in class. If you’re not in class, you’re with your friends. Even if you’re not with your friends, you’re still in contact with them through your phone. But the idea is that you should never be alone. You always need to have your life together and under control.
For the first few weeks of college, we live up to this standard pretty well. It's an exciting time of our lives filled with genuine happiness. The semester continues on, however, and as people begin to find their own different groups, the fear of being left out starts to creep in. In my own experience, I couldn’t figure out why I always felt empty at the end of the day. I was constantly trying to be everywhere with everybody all the time, and it was beginning to wear me out. The problem was this: I absolutely hated being alone. We can lie to everyone else and pretend it's all perfect 100 percent of the time, but being honest with ourselves is the real struggle. Every person was put here for a reason, so live authentically. Don't build up a façade and hide who you really are.
I was more concerned with my own self-image and having my life all together than being genuine, and I needed a reality check. When who you wish you are is all you strive for, you start to become a shell of your true self.
We’ve all heard or had this conversation before. Two people pass by each other on the way to class. One person casually asks the other girl how they’re doing. You can tell by the expression on her face that she is stressed out. Maybe she just failed her chemistry test, and she's worried about losing that scholarship she fought so hard for. The weight of paying off loans and staying in college could be on her shoulders. Yet as soon as the friendly greeting is called out, her face transforms from a shroud of distress to a fake, plastered-on smile. She says she's doing great. That person would rather hide her problems and pretend that everything is OK instead of admitting to the fact that no, her life is not perfect.
It is so easy to pretend that all your ducks are in a row. But after a while, keeping up with this façade can become exhausting. It is OK not to be OK. It is OK not to have everything under control. It is OK to cry. We have to learn to admit, accept and embrace our mistakes. People are much more complex than just “good” or “OK.” We are real, and face real problems and struggles every single day. So I challenge you: be courageous, be honest and be real.
