This October has been the most trying month in my young life. I had knowledge going into it that this month would make or break me, and I can't really tell what it has done to me yet, but it has set the wheels in motion for a possible brighter future. Honestly, each week this month presented another hardship, and for a still unemployed graduated, more expensive tasks that had to be completed. In addition to all this, a broken-down car and crashed computer really did not help matters, especially the burning hole in my pocket that used to be a wallet.
It got to the point when I couldn't have been upset anymore then I already had been. I couldn't express any more sadness or pure frustration than I already had. So when I got into my car at 6:50 am to make it in time to a super important, expensive and invasive doctors appointment and my car decided to not turn on, I couldn't even get mad. In that moment, the early dark and cold moment before the sun had even fully raised, the only action I found myself being able to do was to laugh and laugh loudly and openly like I used to do when I was actually content with my life. It felt so good to laugh like that because it was the first time I was able to in so long. In fact, it actually felt about a hundred times better then it would to have screamed or even cried.
This week alone has been a daily struggle. Since I started typing this article, I got another fun call from the credit card companies and I laughed. It is remarkable because honestly, not one thing that happened this month was at all funny or enjoyable in any way whatsoever, and it is that aspect that I find funny.
I have had a month from hell.
Many people think that hell is a loop of an unpleasant time in ones life on repeat and if this is true and I do in fact end up in hell, then it would be a continued loop of October 2016 and still all I do is find humor in everything. Now I know that this is 100% a coping mechanism to keep me from imploding, but honestly, I’m rather enjoying it. If I wasn't laughing, I know for a fact that I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed. I wouldn’t be able to go to my part-time job or drive to see my friend’s or be around any people.
People are the only aspect of my life that have been getting me through the month. I have learned who is there for me and found out that in a strange way, some people help by not even trying or knowing it. If I couldn't laugh that means I couldn't see or interact in a healthy way with good people, so I’m happy to be laughing. I’ve been able to find so much humor in all of this unpleasantness and I just keep remembering that old saying “sometimes things get worse before they get better.” I feel like I’m laughing because I’m really looking forward to the “they get better” part.
I’ve had hard, scary, dark days and my advice is if you're going through a hard time in your life, search really hard for the funny. When the opportunity arises to laugh or cry and you have a split second to act on it, laugh. Laugh often, laugh loud, and laugh publicly. Make a joke out of everything and remember that eventually, it does get better. Just say to yourself, "if Britney Spears was able to survive 2007 I can survive today."
