It hurts.
It doesn’t make sense.
Yet, it still happens.
Over and over.
They seem to have changed and you’re left there while they move on. That’s life, and despite the pain, I’ve learned that you have to keep chugging along.
In middle school and parts of high school, I was simply known to most people as the awkward, shy, smart girl who belonged to nowhere really. Making friends wasn’t my forte, but losing them was. I was alone for most of my time and when I was around other people my age, I was still alone. I rarely talked which is partially the reason, I speak so softly. I didn't feel like I could participate in other's conversations; I wasn't interested in what they were all becoming interested in; the friends I had before were changing so rapidly and I refused to budge and change subtly over long periods of time. So, I spent hours crying, praying to God asking why it hurt so much and wondering why friends would leave me without a word. My heart had shattered and I struggled to pick up the pieces (and still am).
What I didn’t understand at the time was those moments were the building blocks to the person I am now.
Without that learning curve, without knowing what it’s like to feel alone, I wouldn’t be as compassionate and empathetic. I see people through different lenses. I notice the pain that people tend to carry with them and try to understand their actions. I’m by no means perfect at this or even the most understanding, but I try my best to care for the hurt I see in this world. Through those aching moments in my life, I found one of my callings in life: to serve others and make them feel the love from someone and from God.
I didn’t like it at the time, nor will I like the painful times ahead of me (there are no end to the troubles this life will throw you). Yet, those are the times we need in our lives; that’s when we grow the most. The pain and missing the people who used to be doesn't go away.
But, as corny and cliché as it sounds, you cannot appreciate the light without experiencing the dark. Too often this world focuses on always being happy and always standing in the light, avoiding pain and the darkness, but it took me a long time to figure out that isn't true. Once I realized that, I began to see the light that surrounded me even in those dark times. I’ve become a more optimist and hopeful person and seen that there’s a reason for the hurt in this world, a lesson for the road ahead, a call to change the way I am. Better days and people come from it, even though it hurts.
