Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to forget the best moments of your life?
I began thinking about this when my grandmother fell at the airport a few years ago (the day of my 15th birthday). She was coming back from a trip with my grandfather, when she tripped and fell down a whole flight of stairs in Charles de Gaulle airport. As a result of her fall, she started having memory loss and degenerating brain damage. She was struggling with finding words and names (and yet she knew exactly to whom or to what she was talking about). As I was witnessing the effects of what was supposed to be temporary, the thought process was slowly boiling down into a phobia of Alzheimer and the inception of my theory.
The basis of this theory is an explanation and reflection as to why I compulsively self-document (I write and take pictures of most of the things I do in a day, even when I’m bored). This has probably something to do with my decision of keeping a diary at the end of my first year of high school, or perhaps came along with the hyper-use of Snapchat and Instagram, in any case, I have become this person who will take pictures of a chocolate chip cookie I bought at the grocery store just to have it stored on laptop.
As I am about to enter my third year in college, I can see with hindsight, that all the pictures and trivial notes I put in my diary are not just about this wide spread phenomenon of self-documentation but as a result of this phobia. In short, I am guilty of taking pictures of my food, of random items on the street, what I watch on Netflix, and posts on Facebook. I also document things which, even to me, seems pointless to read (I should know since I tried re-reading my previous diaries). Nevertheless, my theory is that if I ever get Alzheimer I will be able to read those memories with the best accuracy possible and look at pictures of that day and remember it as if I had just lived it. Absurd you say? Now I have done some research in regards to the disease itself, and I feel that my plan would work as long as, I am alert enough, to think about it before the disease gets too severe or at least, have it read to me if I can’t read to myself.
I understand how irrational this may sound, but in some ways this reassures me. It might also explain why so many people on Instagram or snapchat take pictures of food, pets doing funny tricks, or anything that they think is interesting. For example, when I talk to my mom about this, she says it would have never crossed her mind to take so many pictures of no value. In her time, picture-moments were kept for family, weddings, parties, and vacation (and perhaps extravagant meals in fancy hotels or exotic destinations). As much as I agree with her thinking, I feel compulsively the need to document due to this phobia.
One of my best friends, shared that she was keeping a diary and making photo albums, I hope of reading them when she gets old with her boyfriend. So it’s about the same reasoning: the desire of remembering good moments. I feel it’s a common desire or fear to want to preserve good memories or achievements that we have accomplishments. But where does this compulsivity come from? This made me question: does it remove the good aspect of a moment if we are not completely in it? Is it irrational because anyway old age or whatever disease we can contract will make us incapable or remembering those moments?
I don’t have an answer to those questions. Truthfully even if this idea seems baseless, it gives an alternative answer to the question: why do people of my generation like to document everything they do? Most articles I have read mention an “era of narcissism”, the “selfie generation”, or living on the web. However, even if those responses are valid, it seems to presuppose that our generation is superficial, value-less, and self-absorbed. However, for some people, self-documentation is really a way to be remembered (by ourselves or by people). So instead of shunning those, who take pictures all the time maybe we should just embrace it as a millennial phenomenon and try to understand it.
