You know what really sucks? That feeling of being replaced. I know we all like to think we're Beyoncé singing to some shady loser that they shouldn't think that they're irreplaceable because clearly they are. But what if you're not the shady loser and somehow you still get replaced?
I hate the feeling of thinking someone took my spot. I hate overthinking about what I could have done differently to be like that girl so I wouldn't be left high and dry and alone. I think to myself that maybe if I had a better tan, maybe if I were skinnier, or maybe if my hair were shinier. Then I think wait, do guys even notice the shininess of my hair? They probably don't, but I manage to convince myself that that's the reason he and I couldn't make it work.
Realistically, I think I'm not enough. That I could have done more to make the guy want to stick around. To be honest, sitting in that pool of regretful thinking feels like crap.
Knowing that someone can move on from you is extremely painful. Watching them do it very quickly hurts even worse. The easiest thing for a lot of us girls to do is to tear down the replacement. Talking about how she needs the better tan, or how she should be skinnier, and how her hair clearly lacks shine and luster. We project our own insecurities on this girl we don't even know.
We want to view her as the problem, blame her for taking our man. Ladies, she is not the problem.
If he wanted to be in your life, he would have made a way to be there. If he wanted to commit to you, he wouldn't have constantly hit you up at 2 a.m. with that "U up," or "wyd" text. We all know what those texts really mean.
What I'm trying to say is, do not justify a man treating you poorly because of another girl. Don't keep texting and calling trying to work things out. If he wanted to be with you, he would fight for you. Either give him the time to miss you and want to fight for you, or believe him when he says he does not care anymore.
We deserve more than to be someone's second choice, so why do we settle for waiting around on the one who has already moved on from us? Why do we insist on making ourselves available at his beckon call? Stop the madness and recognize your worth!
"We accept the love we think we deserve." This quote from "Perks of Being a Wallflower" has forever impacted how I view myself. If I truly think I deserve the best, why do I accept so much less? It made me realize I need to understand I do deserve the best a man has to offer, just like he deserves the best I have to offer. I can't be my best and offer my best when I'm so concerned with being like someone else.
Reevaluate yourself, not the replacement.
