1. Overheard During Pre-camp Days

I had the opportunity to work at camp before my campers actually arrived. These few lines don't really have much context because I wasn't really involved with the kids, just overheard these things.

"Some people are so sensitive"

*just casually walking down the main road of camp and out of nowhere one girl says* "You should ask Mrs. SoAndSo for some ointment"

Kid comes to the pool goggles on and ready to go…BUT drawstring bag still attached. She walks along the side of the pool but heading towards an area to put her stuff down, or so I thought.* She proceeds to jump into the pool only to emerge from the water to say, "oh no I've made a mistake!!" And then get out of the water

2. “What up with all of these accents?”

An 8-year old to the British tennis instructor.

3. “My boyfriend was in my 2nd grade class and I have to change schools or else I’ll marry him.”

4. I’m Old: A Series

*In arts and crafts and "Up All Night" by One Direction comes on*

Me: *starts singing* "Do any of you know this song?"

Campers: "Nooooo!!"

Me: "Do you guys know who One Direction is?

Campers: A bunch of "Nos" and one "I know Harry Styles"

Me: "Why am I so old?"

*WMYB comes on next and they at least all know that song.*

Camper: "Allie what's your favorite video game?"

Me: "Um I don't really play video games."

*a couple minutes later*

Me: "Actually my favorite game is Webkin."

Campers: "What's Webkinz?"

💔💔💔💔

Me: "Oh, like Perry the Platypus! Wait, do you know what "Phineas and Ferb" is?"

Them: "No."

Me: "Who's Zac Efron?"

Camper: "The guy from the greatest showman"

* No :/ *

Me: "Do they still play "Camp Rock" on Disney Channel or I'm I just old?"

Camper: "You're just old."

5. “Can we start the game instead of waiting 89 hours like last time?”

6. “I’m too old for toy and too young for boys”

7. Update kids don’t know how to pronounce Guantanamo Bay.

Tends to come out as Gan-nan-moo bay/bath

(Background) This is because our tennis instructors changed the name of the classic tennis game Jailbreak to Guantanamo Bay

8. “Allie, isn’t Melissa’s real name Steve?”

Duhhh

9. Nicknames: A Series

Co-counselor Brad was out for a day (at college orientation) but kids thought he was sick. Campers nicknamed Brad "bread" except on this day he was soggy bread because he was "sick."

New co-counselor Sam. Obviously must be called Sam-wich (Bread related nicknames only in this bunk.)

10. Sidekick

7-year old Camper: "Allie where's your sidekick?"

Me: "My sidekick?! Do you mean Sam (my co-counselor)?"

Camper: "Yeah!"

Me: "I like the way you think but why is he my sidekick?"

Camper: "Cause you've been here for 4 years (I told her this after she asked how long it's been) and he's only been here for this year."

11. “It didn’t hurt. I only said ow because I thought it did.”

12. “I only eat my nutter butters after I lick them.”

13. Crazy Kickball

*After explains some of the rules to crazy kickball to my bunk I hear*

Camper: "What we run to 3rd first? That's crazy!"

Me: "That's why it's called crazy kickball"

14. “If you hold hands your married.”

15. “She has a baby and she wasn’t even married!!”

16. Kid runs up and hugs me then looks up and says “do I know you?”

17. Deadpool

Camper: "I've seen Deadpool"

Me: "There's no way you saw Deadpool"

Camper: "Well I saw the trailer"

18. Movies

Camper: "I love horror movies! I've seen all the "Ouija" movies and "Annabelle" and "Scream."

Me: "What if we asked your mom?"

Camper: "She'd say no, but not if you ask my dad"

Sam (co-counselor): "Does anyone here still watch Disney movies?"

Campers: mostly no's…some yes's

19. Bathrooms

Camper: "What if we didn't have bathrooms in the cabins?"

Me: "Then we'd have to go to the bathroom somewhere else."

Camper: "Nooooo, I mean if there were no bathrooms in the cabins"

Me: "Then we'd have to go to the bathroom somewhere else."

Camper: "Ugh, no."

*I'm still confused*

20. Winner winner chicken dinner

Me: "Winner winner chicken dinner"

Camper: "I thought we were having bologna"

21. *after explaining the rules of Newcomb* “Now that’s math kids *pause* volleyball + catching = having fun…and Newcomb"

22. “I feel like we walk a lot this year but maybe that’s because my counselor carried me everywhere last year.”

23. “The mud is here to help us.”

24. “You know some people think strawberries are a vegetable.”

25. Number 1

Camper: "…That's cause we're alway number one."

*then her brother responds* "So we're always peeing?!"

Me: "you're such a boy"

26. “Kool-aid is my favorite fruit.”

27. The Dress Debacle

Me: "I like your dress."

Camper: "Thank you

*a minute later*

Camper: "Allie, how'd you know I was wearing a dress?"

She's only four…

28. The burping (The might be my personal favorite!)

Camper: "Allie do you know why [counselor] Nicky always burps?"

Me: "No…do you?"

Camper: "She's never going to get a man that way."

29. “My rump is roasting”.

30. “Allie, this may be the only time you hear this but, thank you.”

31. “Allie is Brandon (my co counselor from last year) your boyfriend? I saw you talking to him in the pool yesterday.”

32. “Tom Brady cheats! He deflated the balls!”

Yes kids, Go Birds!

33. LBJ

Camper: "LBJ is Lebron James."

Counselor: "Ummm I don't think so."

Camper: "Yeah that's how you abbreviate it."

34. Is Grace weird?

Me: "Do you like Grace (her counselor/my friend) or is she weird?"

Camper: "Well she just dyed her hair so weird."

35. “Allie I’ve decided on my favorite food. Tide pods”

36. Chilly/Chilling/Chili

Camper: *lays back on the semi-circle mat in gymnastics* "Allie look I'm chilly."

Me: "Are you chilly or chilling?"

Camper: "Nope, chili like the food and I'm gonna eat so much chili."

Me: "Oh cool, I don't like chili."

Camper: "Me too."

37. “Just call me Bloody (Last Name) because I’m always scratching.”

He liked to pick at his scabs or scratch his bug bites because he thought it was funny.

38. “Hi my name’s Tony, I sat on bologna, now my butt’s all foamy. Hi my name’s Tony and someone pooped in your yard, it was me.”

But keep in mind this was a song…that they all sang at once.

39. “Mom you got here (to pickup line) right in the middle of fart-fest”

40. Knock Knock

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Dinosaur"

"Dinosaur who?"

"There's a Dinosaur at your door and you don't even know their name?!"

41. Turns out kids are very confused by the “who’s on first, what’s on second, I don’t know’s on third” joke.

42. Unfazed

Camper: "Allie try and make me laugh."

Me: "Okay, guess what."

Camper: "What?"

Me: "Chicken Butt."

Camper: "That doesn't make me laugh, my dad says it too much."

43. "I want to cuddle a koala!!!!"

*talking to a kid about how she wants to get a Koala at the face painting table next period. Then the conversation just kind of stops*

*1 minute later*

"I want to cuddle a koala!!!!"

44. “Can I pee in the lake?”

45. “I’m so confused.”

46. The 8-Year Old Love Triangle

Boy 1: *goes up to Girl 1 at aftercare and confesses he has a crush on her*

Girl 1: Oh, I don't like you. I like Boy 2. (Boy 2 is Boy 1's best friend at camp)

*Next Day*

Boy 1 is all out of sorts and upset (first broken heart) so Boy 2 runs over to Girl 1 and says, "Please just go say you like him, even if you don't, just make him feel better"

47. Gaga: A Series

"I need my gaga gloves."

"He's targeting me."

"Why does everyone always target me?"

"Roadrunner! Get the roadrunner out!"

"If you're gonna road run you should own it."

"No turtle-ing"

"Ohhh headshot, you're out."