Breathe.
Everything's going to be okay.
I repeat those words to myself over and over again, but my mind can't seem to comprehend what I'm saying.
My mind is running a thousand miles a minute.
My world feels like it's stuck in slow motion while I'm fast forwarding through my entire life.
All I can think about is what people are thinking about me.
Do they like me?
Do they think I'm ugly?
They think I'm stupid don't they?
Before I know it the panic sets in.
My body starts trembling like a house in the middle of an earthquake.
I'm pouring sweat like I've been stuck in a sauna.
I'm crying.
I'm hyperventilating.
I feel like I'm gong to die.
So, don't you dare tell me that I'm being over-dramatic and don't you dare tell me that I'm faking it.
You seem to think that sense you can't see the pain that I'm feeling then it's not really there.
I'm not bleeding and I don't have any broken bones so I must be okay, right?
Wrong.
Anxiety is a silent pain that goes unnoticed to others, but to me it's like this demon trying to claw it's way out of me and take control of my body.
It doesn't care if I'm trying to have a good time.
It doesn't care if I'm trying to make a good grade on my presentation.
It doesn't care that I'm trying to make a good first impression.
Anxiety doesn't care what I'm trying to do.
Anxiety doesn't wait to come out when I'm ready for it to.
It comes out at the absolute worst times.
I've always wished that my anxiety had an emotional override button, but it doesn't.
Anxiety is something that invades every part of me.
It reminds me of every time I've embarrassed myself in front of people, so I can't even go out in public or even talk to people without being in a constant state of panic.
Anxiety drudges up all of my insecurities leaving me in a puddle of my own despair.
I feel like I'm constantly under attack.
You probably wouldn't know that and you probably wouldn't have even noticed because on the outside everything seems perfectly fine.
It's on the inside where I feel like a nervous wreck.
