With physical abuse, there is proof: bruises, cuts, scars. You physically see the wounds. You can physically feel the pain; and that makes it all much more real for us. With emotional abuse, you see no wound, you feel no physical pain. Instead, you doubt everything you think and feel. And to me, that is a much scarier thought.
Our society loves to paint emotional abuse victims as being too emotional, sensitive or worse, making it all up. Because we victims offer no physical evidence of foul play, we are often put in a lower category than physical abuse victims. When in reality, our wounds can be just as physical as any bruise or scar.
Every time he tells you to "do something with yourself," you feel ugly.
Every time he tells you he can find someone else, you feel replaceable.
Every time he lies, you feel unworthy of the truth.
Every time he raises a hand, you flinch in fear, wondering what is next.
Every time he withholds affection, you desperately try to cling on.
Every time he raises his voice, you get quieter.
Every time he "knows what is best for you," you doubt your intuition.
Every time he mocks you, you feel exposed.
Every time he calls you fat, you eat one less portion.
Every time he doesn't laugh at your joke, you stop making them.
Every time he says your friends don't like you, you seclude yourself.
Every time he hates on your type of music, you slowly fall out of love with it.
Every time he calls you stupid, you see your grades slipping.
Every time he says you are crazy, you take another pill.
Emotional abuse is invisible; nobody can physically see the words or pain. Victims are only left with habits that have been formed from the mind games that they were once wrapped up in.
If you happen to be a victim yourself, just know that you are not crazy for wanting to be loved or to be in control of your life. You are not being "needy." You are not being "too emotional or sensitive." Destructive people do not have to be permanent.
