As a little girl, I was always told growing up that it didn't matter who I fell in love with, whether they were white, black, yellow, big, small, wide or thin, as long as they treated me like the "princess" I am they would be accepted in their eyes. Fortunately for me, that was true. I fell in love with a black man and my life has been changed since. There are many things that I have learned from my new relationship, but these are the seven most important ones:
1. People do not approve.
Interracial relationships are still highly frowned upon, even in this day and age. I didn't think that in 2016 I would have to worry about the nasty looks I get walking in public with my boyfriend, but I do. Everywhere we go, whether it be the grocery store or a restaurant, there is always someone who is glaring at us with the face of disgust. It amazes me that people can be so hostile towards someone they don't even know, simply because they are walking around with someone who isn't the same race as them.
Early on in my relationship,
2. Racism is very much still alive.
I didn't realize how much of a problem racism still is until I had some of it directed my way. There are plenty of people in this world that discriminate based on skin color. I have never heard of some of the things that my boyfriend shared with me that he has gone through in his life. It showed me that I should be thankful that I was raised in a way to not think that way or feel that way towards other people.
I thought that having a black president would have caused people to come together and realize that everyone is equal.
I hope that one day the world can see what I see in people, or what I don't see. Basically, everyone, in my eyes, is exactly the same. My step-dad has always said, "Everyone is pink on the inside."
3. Don't let other people's doubts become your own.
Everyone always tells you that they don't care who makes you happy, as long as you are happy, but that isn't always true. There has been a lot of skeptical people when I told them about my new relationship. With our different backgrounds, personalities and skin color, people think that we are bound to fail. Let me tell you, I have never been this happy in my life. But sometimes, people really do care who is the one to make you happy and they will say or do anything to get you to think twice about your relationship. Never do that. If your heart is telling you happy things, go with it. Because when it all comes down to it, your opinion is the only one that truly matters.
4. Their family's approval is very important.
When you are blending two different races, it is very important for both of your families to accept it. For me, I was the "outcast." My boyfriend is a quarter white because his father is mixed. His mother, sister and two brothers are all "dark skinned." I was the one that stood out and had to make a good impression. It was really important to me that they approved because I cherish their son so much.
When I realized that there was nothing to worry about, I learned that I had been listening to so many of these people's doubts and seeing so many of the nasty glares that I forgot (only for a second), that we were no different. I just had to be myself and know that it would be good enough. Always be yourself. Even though some situations in an interracial relationship are a little different than others, if you remain yourself always, you'll always be able to make things work.
5. Family can treat you like you don't exist.
If someone in your family, or theirs, doesn't approve of the blended aspect of the relationship, they will practically disown you. To be treated like you're no longer a part of someone's life is difficult, but to have it come from a family member is even harder.
The hardest thing about a family member having a problem with an interracial relationship is because you see the true side of someone that you cared about. You see that they aren't who you thought they were and it hurts to know that someone can hold that much negativity towards a person in their bodies. It is unbelievable some of the theories you will hear that back up their beliefs. But, opinions are like butts: everyone has one. I know you have to be respectful of their opinions, but it is still very hurtful. Be ready for it and be ready to see sides of people close to you that you never knew
6. Your life will change.
You are now a part of two different families and you get to experience all sorts of new things. From the food to the stories, take it all in. Try everything with an open mind and be ready to have some fun. A change is always good and this change will be one for the books.
7. Love is truly blind.
When I started my interracial relationship, it was my first. I, like many others, had had my fair share of failed love stories. I took this one very lightly and it ended up being wonderful. I didn't pick my boyfriend because he is black. I didn't notice. My heart wound up picking him and love is truly blind. I didn't tell myself, "Oh, you can't love him, he's black. People won't agree and life will be harder." That is ridiculous. I fell in love with him and how he treats me and that is all that matters in any relationship. If your heart is taking you towards someone, don't let the skin color or their weight or the shape or anything stop you from it. Love is taking you places, more than any biases ever will.
Life is going to be hard no matter who you are with. Don't let the messed up world we live in tell you that love isn't blind. Don't let the negativity that is flowing out of people's eyes and mouths cause you hesitation. The one that is right for you could be standing right in front of you, but you are looking away because they are black/Asian/Hispanic/Indian, etc. Open your eyes and your heart.
