It is hard for anyone to see, because it's all smiles and laughter. You hear jokes and conversations coming out of our mouths. A lot of our friends don't see the pain and the sadness in our eyes because our smiles are the brightest.

High function depression is a silent predator that no one sees until something as drastic as suicide happens. There are a lot of signs that are shown with people with high functioning depression and to go through it is no walk in the park. It's a continuous fight to smile and be happy day to day. It shows that we are one of the strongest warriors that walk through life.

Some of us go through health issues on top of our high functioning depression. The fact that we don't seem normal to ourselves makes our depression worse. I went through life as an overweight person and there were times where I was borderline diabetic. Having the option to pick junk food during your younger years and having the high cravings mentality is not a great thing to have.

With all of the health problems, comes difficulty sleeping. I rarely had, or have, full nights of sleep. Vivid dreaming was my only sign that I relaxed enough to sleep and those dreams I always remember. That's why exercising and eating right has been proven to help with high functioning depression.

I am a natural introvert and it's hard for me to insert myself into a group of people to pick up during the conversation. It's hard for me to speak in a group of people with strong personalities. I have always had anxiety speaking in a group of people and that is one of my triggers of my depressing state.

I used to talk over people and would not let people speak, and I got that metaphorically beaten out of me. The fact that I used to hurt people by not letting them speak hurts me twice fold. All of my past mistakes still come back to haunt me daily.

That is why I am always alone and not speaking to anyone unless they come to sit with me. I found it cliche that one of my favorite songs is Demons by Imagine Dragons. I never want anyone close to me to know what I have done.

When one thinks of high function depression, one does not think of the smiles and laughter that are often seen more than the tears. High functioning depression is different from regular depression due to the amount of untreated patients with it.

I may have seen a professional but I have never been medicated for my problem. I have thought about it but will never do so because I believe that there is always another way.