November 19, 1991, was the best day of my parents’ lives (despite what my brothers may tell you).

Their sweet, beautiful baby girl had finally decided to grace the world with her smile and uni-brow (my mother tells me this was the first thing she noticed; a prominent, single line of hair above my eyes). I obviously decided not to make this experience easy in any way. I’m told I was the only child that made my mom need an ambulance ride to the hospital, on one of those wintry November nights.

There was black ice on the road, as the story goes, and the EMT driver had to drive at a crawling pace to safely deliver all of the passengers. This was not the end of the obstacles I set into place. I tried entering this world with one foot ready, the other trapped in my tiny living womb (ha!). You’re welcome, Ma!

These days I maintain two eyebrows and practice a little more patience, but I’m pretty sure the day I was born was my first and last time arriving early to anything. It’s an ongoing learning process.

I also have a tendency to procrastinate because I just don’t feel like there is nearly enough time in the day to get everything done. Maybe that’s why I decided I couldn’t wait an extra day or two more to start my journey on this Earth. I had so many new things to experience and deadlines I needed to wait until the last minute to finish.

Again, still a work in progress.

So, as I reflect on my time (thus far) in this confusing, bizarrely beautiful world, just a few days before my birthday, I wanted to share my thoughts leading up to my quarter-life anniversary.

I will say that I’m not that excited about turning 25 years old. Believe me, I know I’m not “old” by any means and I understand I still have so much life left to live.

I intend to make my next 25 years and beyond worth every second. However, I just feel like I’m not ready to be considered a responsible adult. I understand that I was an adult at 18, able to make adult decisions, but that doesn’t mean I was ready then, and it doesn’t mean I’m exactly ready right now (although slightly more prepared compared to ages 18 through 22).

I still struggle with financial planning. I feel like I’m constantly behind on everything and always scrambling to catch up.

I try to be financially responsible, and for the most part, I am. I just need to be more focused I guess.

Also, finances are not the only issue I pay too much attention to. I actually try very hard to remain positive, I and do what I can to make sure that I am okay with payments on important things. The issue I mainly have is that I have to turn my attention more toward money, and I wish that wasn’t case.

I also have an issue with the fact that this is the norm. Our society just shrugs and goes “oh well, that’s growing up”. That’s not very reassuring. That doesn’t make me exactly jump for joy at the idea of getting deeper into adulthood.

I also have an issue with the fact that people tend to assume that 25 is the cut-off age to enjoying yourself. There was a time when 25 was ultimate adulthood; marriage, house, kids, stability, etc.

Times have definitely changed and mid-twenties is more acceptable to be undecided and unprepared for too much responsibility. I guess some people have trouble seeing that I don’t need to have my entire life planned this soon. I’m still so undecided what to do with my career, where my boyfriend and I can agree to live once we decide to make a significant move, and what the acceptable number of cats is until the limit becomes “excessive”.

So, as I approach impending adulthood, I am deciding right now to get excited about it. I want to set different expectations for myself and, yes, become more responsible in certain aspects of my life.

I guess it is time to think about some options for my future but not pressure myself into planning the whole path out.

I also need to accept that I am not in a fantasyland where I can choose to never grow up, like Peter Pan and his pals. Yet, that does not mean I have to become some serious person who believes that my sole purpose now is making money and accepting that my adventures must end.

I am deciding to find more focus in my life, and to accept and enjoy the times when I get a little distracted (which is inevitable). I just really want to find balance throughout this new age bracket because lately I feel like balance is what I am lacking the most.

We all need to feel like our lives are a little more manageable in order to feel motivated and confident to continue to grow. We cannot just stay off-kilter or stagnant because we need to have some form of balance in order to thrive. Like a flower needs a stable environment and a certain balance of food and energy, or it will wilt and die (that got dark, sorry).

I hope to learn from the first 25 years of living and continue to learn throughout the last half of my twenties. I won’t focus beyond 30 yet because I’m not totally convinced I’ll be mentally prepared for that one, either. I also am not saying I will wake up on Saturday and suddenly feel different. I think this will be a gradual process of coming to terms with 25.

I know one thing for sure: I will fully embrace a quarter-life crisis and continue to live the life I enjoy.