There is so much beauty in being alone, and being an independent individual. I didn’t always think this way; I used to think I could only be happy with another person in my life. I was a half and there was another half out there missing from me that would allow me to be whole. However, I’ve found that this is not the case, that actually I am a whole on my own. I know there is someone out there that will someday fill a spot in my life to complete me, and I may consider that person my other half, but in the meantime, before that happens, I’ve found a great deal of positives in the fact that I am alone.
Being alone has such a negative connotation. My friends from high school have babies, are getting married, or are in serious relationships, which lead me to believe that I should be doing the same. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay that I’m not; in fact, I think it’s a great thing. Here are some things that I learned while being alone that are pretty awesome.
You can go to a movie, not worry about what you look like, be comfortable and not feel the pressure of whether or not you have to hold someone’s hand or make them comfortable. I know that this applies more to the beginning of a relationship, during one of the first couple dates, because after that in a relationship you shouldn’t worry about that kind of stuff – but still. Sweat pants and sitting in a theater alone is something everyone should do and experience. I do it all the time. Some people think I’m crazy, but some agree that it’s a perfect movie-going experience.
Eating alone in a restaurant or café gives some people anxiety, because they think people will think they're a weirdo. Newsflash – you’re not. But you can have time to think without being crowded into a conversation you may not want to have, or you can just eat without talking. No more awkward silences, because you can’t have awkward silences with yourself. I’m not saying going out to eat with someone is a bad thing; I’ve had plenty of wonderful conversations while out to eat with friends, family, and significant others, but eating by yourself falls under the category of just taking yourself out, treating yourself, and being okay with being there alone.
Silence is something most people find unbearable. I find it to be quite the opposite, and there are ways to accentuate it. Music is a big deal, in case you weren’t aware. Finding a great playlist on Spotify is a wonderful way to fill that void, and if you don’t have to concentrate on anything crazy, there are a ton of categories specifically designed for the type of mood you’re in. If you don’t have anything to do, silence is overwhelming. Go to a public place to people-watch and listen to interactions. It’s way more amusing then you would think. There’s laughter, talking, and, depending on where you are, many more sounds to fill that void. Who doesn’t love to people-watch? Wear sunglasses if you can, just in case you’re one of those people that has a hard time looking away occasionally. You don’t want people to think you’re a creep, even though you are. Embrace that.
Be a workaholic if you want, or be a lazy ass if you want. No one can tell you to stop working, or to stop wasting your Saturday in your bed. If it’s one of those days, have that day and realize that no one can tell you otherwise. Don’t use it as an excuse, though; remember that being social is a really healthy thing. Have conversations by calling someone, or texting throughout the day, because, ultimately, you can be alone and still be social, but the nice thing about being alone is that no one can tell you what to do. You can just be, and be you, and eat in your underwear while watching stupid vlogs on Youtube and not be judged or told you should go take a shower, because it’s a Saturday after all, and you don’t have any work to do.
Enjoy it, my friend; we’re going to be working for the rest of our lives, and we’re not going to be alone forever despite the popular phrase that kids these days are saying. You will not be forever alone, but while you are, soak it in. It’s a beautiful thing to be independent. Alone is not negative and should not have negative connotations. Just be content learning about yourself, so that when the time comes to embrace another human being for the rest of your life, you’re sure of who you are alone and ready to take on that experience. There’s a lot to do, and when you’re alone, you have all the time in the world to do it. It’s the best thing I’ve learned to embrace.
