For some people, the idea of going away to school is the best thing that will ever happen to them. They cannot wait to move into their new dorm and live free of their parents rules. If you are a private high school graduate, you are probably so excited to not have to wear a uniform to class. Passing periods that are too short and getting in trouble for being late to class are a thing of the past. Although you know you will probably get tired of cafeteria food, eating in the cafeteria is something you look forward to. Maybe there are situations in your household that are making you even more excited to go away to school.
But for others, leaving home, not only for college, but in general, is something that is nearly impossible to think about. For those of you who cannot imagine going away to school or working in a different state and not being able to see your very best friends whenever you want, not being able to watch TV with your dad night, or not being able to go get your nails done with your mom on the weekends because you are a two or more hour car ride away, you are not alone.
Graduating high school was great. I was able to celebrate with my family and friends my successes in high school. I was so excited to be done with high school and move on to classes that will directly effect my career choice. I was excited to meet new people an experience new things in college. What I was not excited for was leaving my tight knit group of friends, some of those people whom I had been with since grade school. Sure, we had the whole summer to enjoy each other's company, but every time we came across the date, we know that summer was not going to last forever. Some of our friends had to leave early for college athletics which made it even more real that our good times had to come to an end, at least for that moment in time.
Time kept ticking, and I got even more uneasy about leaving. Before I knew it, it was move in day. I had been preparing for this all summer. Although I was unsettled about moving two hours away from my family and friends, I was moving in with one of my best friends from high school. Some people are not that lucky. Even then, it took everything in me not to stop my parents from leaving and telling them to take me back home. I wanted to be with my dog and sleep in my bed and be able to go to all of my family's events. But, I resisted the urge. Time went on, and I will be the first to admit that I was homesick beyond belief. I thought maybe it would go away, but for me, I think every year I will have to resist the urge to scream for Mom and Dad to come back and take me with them.
A large part of me believes everyone gets homesick at some point (even if they do not admit it, it has to happen). But I truly do not think this feeling will ever completely subside. So, if you begin to feel home sick, I am encouraging you to embrace it. Being homesick when I am/have been away at school has made me appreciate the things I have at home. I appreciate my the strength of my friendships that have withstood the distance and time for the support they have provided me with while also appreciating the friendships that did not withstand distance and time for lessons they have taught me.
Being homesick is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are human and have feelings and have a family and a life at home that was amazing enough to make you miss being away from it. Being homesick is a part of human nature.
Things are going to change in college and will continue to change for the rest of your life. College is about dipping your toes into the water before having to dive in completely. You may feel out of place in places you never thought you would before. That is okay. This time is about adjustment. To me, college is much more about personal growth than it is about education (this does not mean I am telling you school is not important; you are paying big money to be there so please study and go to class!).
But, one thing you cannot do in college, or throughout your life, is let the homesickness consume you. You can miss your mom, your dad, your dog, your bed, etc. all you want, but the second you see it affecting your quality of life, it is time to talk to someone. Do not be afraid to call your mom and talk/cry about being homesick. It is okay to talk/cry to your friends about being homesick (thankful for my people, especially my roomie of two years, who allow me to do this when needed).
If you give it some time and it gets to the point where you just cannot be there anymore, the best thing about college, and life, is that you have options. Look at schools closer to home, begin the process of transferring, start looking for a new job/place to live. There is no shame in going where you need to go to be happy. Whatever you do, make sure you are happy. Embrace all of the feelings that come throughout these transition years, because they are truly amazing, and I can promise they will not last forever.
