I have been going ninety miles a minute with classes, my sorority office, my full time job, and the list could go on… I was exhausted. I wanted to break down and eat ice cream from the tub while watching the saddest Netflix romance film. With no ice cream in sight, I called it quits on my hours of homework and did only what I know will give me instant peace – I went to God in worship.
It’s a funny thing, the Holy Spirit. It will move you to the uncomfortable mountain tops and vulnerable valleys in life. It will confirm your ambitions and wreck your perfectly planned plans with just a feeling. It will open up new doors in your walk of faith, if you let it.
You see, that’s the beauty of the Holy Spirit, it revives so much power within you, but only if you’re willing to open your heart to it.
It was in a small college worship service that I felt God move most in me. I grew up in a very reserved church, where raising your hands in the middle of the sanctuary felt anything but comfortable. But here, with lights dim and eyes closed, I lifted my hands to my Heavenly Father.
In the middle of the horrible week I’d had, my God gave me contentment in my heart and peace in my soul. He whispered comfort in my mind, allowing relief to rush over me. Only my God can do that. To hear voices of praise be filled in this service, my worries of my future were gone. I felt present before the Lord, giving Him all my energy and will that my body could.
In the midst of my mess, the Lord ever so graciously gave me peace. I settled into His love. I returned to His righteousness.
I did nothing to deserve this and everything to have this rejected. But still – He welcomes me back, even on a Thursday night, where I had just come from my dorm room, my heart full of frustration with my first thought being why. Why would God give me more than I could handle? Why would God let me be this overwhelmed?
When I should have been asking “Why not?”
Why wouldn’t God put me in the walk of life I’m currently in? What is He trying to tell me? Who is He leading me to? And the answers are just a prayer away…
My mess is a good one – I have the blessing to attend an amazing school where He has placed so many wonderful friends and memories with me, and still I find myself ungrateful.
As followers of Christ, we must find ourselves thanking God for this mess, whatever it may be. We cannot dwell on what we want and why we can’t do something. Because in reality, we just might not want to. But isn’t about what we want. It is ultimately what we can do and should do for His Kingdom.
