Ellen,
You are sitting beside me on your colorful quilt. The sun, kissing our skin, is promising that the world is safe and good. I’m super duper happy that today happened. You keep trying to convince me that we are more alike than I think – which I already believe, duh. If today told you anything about me, it’s probably that I will always try to get you to do things you’re uncomfortable with at first, in hopes of a good time or realization. It’s my first summer in the valley – yours too, I think. I am at such peace here, I hope we find peace together. I am 100 percent rooting for you in this new, uncertain journey you might be taking! Team Ellen for eternity. Thanks a million moons for opening up to me – I’m jazzed about you + I! Today was magic – your face is almost as lovely as your heart. If I were a bird and you were a bee, I would let you ride on my wings + I would listen to you buzz all day. If I were an otter you would be my favorite rock (yes, otters have stones that are precious to them). Can’t wait for you to see the Neverending Story!
Love + light, Angel.
Fish fingers,
Macie
https://liliesandlattesblog.wordpress.com
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This is a letter written to a girl named Ellen by her friend Macie. She posted it on a blog I stumbled upon a few weeks ago and it hasn’t left me since. This particular post was written in honor of Macie, the fish fingers girl who lit up the room by the sounds of it, who had just died. (I put the link to the post up there and I think you should read it before we go any further.)
Ellen writes about this girl like she is the kind of person we all want to be and we all want to know, and her words got me thinking about what it would be like to lose someone like that. To lose the person who made you see yourself, who made you see the world, in such a beautiful light. It must have been the hardest thing, just reading the story made me weep and all I got was a glimpse of her wonder.
So in honor of her, in honor of goodness and Thanksgiving: here is a letter in honor of you.
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Dear you,
Wonderful, charming, lovely you. I am so grateful to know you, to hold you, to see you when I get to. Your kindness has made life a little easier and a little more beautiful, and that I think is all we can ask for of a friend, that they share in our life making it better in ways only they can. I am so grateful for that smile and laugh, and the way your nose crinkles when you giggle too hard. You, you are more beautiful than any flower you’ve ever plucked to put in your hair or given to your mother on soft summer days. You are vastly more worthy than you’d ever dared believe, you are so tremendously better than whatever is trying to tell you that you are not good enough.
You are a mighty thing, full of grace and wonder and strength. What fills your soul is 10 thousand times more darling thank what is on the outside; don’t lose yourself in the shallow compliments of those who do not know your worth. You are so much more wonderful than you admit, believe that.
I know that the days are longer than we’d like them to be, and that when they’re finished we never feel like we’ve had enough time to get the 7 million things we needed to get done. So we go to bed tired and wake up already exhausted, forever 2 seconds away from crying or coming undone. I know this world has been cruel to you at times, and I want to thank you for the kindness you show anyways — for your graciousness, your warmth, and compassion. Remember that it is not weakness to show that your heart is breaking or broken; the world collapses for everyone, no one should just you for feeling. Feeling, breathing, smiling, crying — it’s all honest, it’s all human. Do not doubt that we have all or will all one day feel as wretched as you do at times. But also, do not doubt that we all make it through, even you. Especially you. You are wondrous, despite what you see when you stare into your own eyes. Who you are at your core will always speak louder than who people perceive you to be. Do not be afraid of being honest with yourself or with others, and if you don’t like what comes out of that, discover what you believe that is untrue.
What I’ve learned so far in life is that the kindest of moments means more than you know. I’ve learned that people matter, and people care. I’ve learned that rumors fly fast, but who you are speaks so much louder, so be honest about who you are and what you do. Always be authentic to your passions and values. Every stranger has a story, every stranger is either having a good or bad day, and you have an opportunity to step in for a moment and make their day better. Always, always choose to make their experience or moment or life better — it will never do you an ounce of harm to be patient or understanding or helpful. Kindness is free and worth it.
Be kind to others; be kind to yourself. Breathe a little more and laugh a little freer, that which holds you down will not haunt you forever. Keep going, keep going, keep going: the earth is holding you, not you holding it. Be a light, leave every space better than you found it — especially when that space is someone’s heart.
To quote Macie, “I am 100 percent rooting for you in this new, uncertain journey you might be taking.” I hope you have a Macie in your life, I hope you surround yourself with people who get jazzed about things like flowers and lightning bugs. I hope you are a Macie, too, someone who sees the beauty and lifts others up.
“Your face is almost as lovely your heart.”
Peace and blessings,
Danielle
xoxo
