There was just something about 2015 that seemed to grab at me and really make me think into each and every decision I made, and it was inevitable to avoid the consequences and lessons that came of them. Sure, I had some pretty cool experiences, but there were also some things that I'd change or do better on, as we all can say about the previous year, I'm sure. However, through everything, it was a beautiful year of personal growth and maturity. Here's a little glimpse into my 2015 and the new lessons I will bring with me into the new year!
1. Losing friends is okay.
At the beginning of 2015, the girl who I had called my absolute best friend for nearly 2 years made me feel like I had just dropped out of existence. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never been through a breakup. Although I have decided losing a best friend feels just as bad, if not worse. She had found someone better, and I was no longer essential for her well-being, so she completely stopped talking to me. However, once I stopped spending all of my time with her, I realized that I had put my true, kind, and caring friends on the back burner. I had started to see them only when I needed a “backup” (and yes, it pains me to say that, but it’s true). They must have seen through my so-called ‘best friend’ though, because they were always there for me, regardless of the situation. Because of this, I found my forever best friend. We had known each other since preschool, but never really became good friends until I needed someone to talk to after the whole thing went down. Now, we honestly don’t go anywhere without each other, and even ended up joining the same sorority (without talking to each other about which we wanted, I might add), and next year we are going to live together! So, THANK YOU to my old best-friend. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to learn what it takes to have a true and growing friendship.
2. Finding what you want to do with the rest of your life is extremely stressful.
We all know those dreaded questions from family members like, “What are you going to major in next year?” or, “What are your plans for after college?”. I managed to get away with bland answers my senior year of high school, but when college actually came around, it was a completely different story. Now I’m the one asking myself those questions, and half of the time…no, just about every time I think about my future, it brings me to tears. It’s not so much the thought that I won’t be successful later in life, because I know I’m a smart girl and will do the best at whatever I end up doing. It is more along the lines of how in the world I’m expected to choose only one thing to do for the rest of my life within my four years of college. It all just seems too rushed, and a little outrageous, to be honest. A 19 year old, supposed to know what she wants to do for the next 40 years of her life? Just a few months ago, I had to ask permission to use the bathroom.
3. My brother is the reason that I am who I am today.
My brother and I have never been your typical "siblings-who-fight-about-anything-and-everything", and quite frankly, I can’t even remember the last time we had an argument over something other than who got to use the car we shared that night. I’m so proud to call him my brother, and I always felt so special when he would invite me to hang out with his friends or when he asked me to go for late night food runs with him. When he had to leave for college at Arizona State, I broke down. I didn’t want to not be able to go to his room before school and have him tell me that my shoes didn’t match my outfit, or hear him say he was proud of me for that grade I got on my math quiz. He’s always made me strive to be the best that I can be, but not seeing him every day made me want to work even harder to show him the person I would become when he came home for breaks. I worked hard to become more mature, to grow in my friendships and surround myself with people he would be proud to call his sister’s friends, and I even pushed myself in school a lot harder than I ever had before. I started becoming so much more confident in myself and who I was as a person that I decided to stop making these changes in my life for him, but to do them for myself. Now, I love who I am, and that won’t change.
4. College happens.
Good decisions, bad decisions, good grades, bad grades, good friends, bad friends. It’s just life. It’s college. I’ve met some wonderfully inspiring people, and I’ve met some people that I wish I hadn’t talked to in the first place. There have been nights that I’m gonna remember for the rest of my life with friends who will always be in my life, and there are those nights that I don’t really want to remember. I’ve had days where I’ve done nothing but study for 12 hours straight with a food break here and there, and there have been days where all I’ve done is watch movies with my best friends, with pauses in between to make a Walmart run for more popcorn and candy. I’ve learned to just go day by day, and deal with the challenges and consequences as they come. College is a wonderful and difficult thing, but it has no doubt helped me develop who I am more than any other life experience I’ve encountered (yes, even more than my brother leaving). I know for a fact that I wouldn’t trade this last semester for anything in the entire universe…and I still have seven more to look forward to!
5. Stand up for yourself.
I hate conflict. I really do. When I was younger, my mom bribed me to stand up for myself by offering to buy me ice cream whenever I did, because I would always back away whenever someone began raising their voice at me. However, while at college, I didn’t have my mom to take my side during an argument or to encourage me to not let others push me around, so I had to learn to do it for myself. There was a situation with my roommate where I was quite upset about something she had said about me to her friends, and I was not about to let that fly. I confronted her about it, which actually was less scary than I thought it was gonna be, and we worked it out. I realize that because I have to be my own person and stand up for myself now, I’ve become a stronger woman. I am so much more confident when it comes to debates and confrontation, which is something I never in a million years imagined I would be able to say.
6. Accept your individuality.
One of the major things I’ve noticed while in college is that there’s no more of all that catty high school judgment crap going on anymore, and it rocks. Nobody makes fun of you if you choose to wear sweats all the time, or if you’re one of those people who like to dress nice and do your make up for class each day. If you want to express yourself through clothing, go for it. Have your own style. Want to flaunt your Greek letters every day? Do it! Don’t be afraid to completely be you, and be proud of it, too. Learning to be comfortable with your uniqueness is huge, and it’s definitely a milestone in life. Putting your individuality out there for people to see is how solid friendships form, because it means that you’re not only being true to yourself, but you’re not trying to be someone else so that a certain kind of person will befriend you. Be weird, be creative, be opinionated. Most of all, just be nothing other than you.
