So, you messed up and have said your apologies. It's over... right? Wrong. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Forgiving yourself can be challenging because sometimes whatever happened, or whatever your actions were, is something you would never want to happen to yourself. But here is the problem, feeling guilty or dwelling on what happened does not help you become a better person. With that being said, here a few important steps for forgiving yourself.

1. Take a few deep breaths.

Inhale, exhale and inhale again. Just allow yourself to be upset for what happened, but let it go slowly with each breath you take.

2. Know that you cannot control your actions or what happened anymore.

You were a little less wise then, but now you know better. Life is a big learning experience, so just relax a bit.

3. Understand that you are not defined by your mistakes.

Sure, you messed up. You are not defined by your mistakes, but rather by the steps you take to make yourself better and what you do when no one is looking.

4. Work towards thinking about your mistakes less every day.

Dwelling on the issue does nothing but drive you insane. Working towards not stressing about your mistake will make you feel better. It also allows you to feel like you have grown from what you learned from the mistake.

5. Finally, work towards making a change in your life for the better.

If you continue to make the same mistake, that is a problem. But if you recognize the issue and make an effort to fix it, you can forgive yourself more and also feel better about what happened.

Working on yourself is hard, but sometimes forgiving your own mistakes is harder. I understand that, and I think everyone goes through multiple periods in their life where they must deal with this. After all, what is life if you can't make mistakes and learn from them?