As children we are taught to love and to respect others; as a child, I was always told to “treat others the way you want to be treated,” it was the golden rule in my household. Somewhere along the road, it seems, “treat others the way you want to be treated,” became “treat others the way you want to be treated, and treat yourself the way others treat you.”
I recall being in sixth grade and celebrating my friends’ for their individuality while simultaneously hating myself for not looking like them. All throughout high school I constantly made sure my friends realized how amazing they were, but I never could convince myself that I was worthy of anything or anybody. Even now I struggle to see myself as beautiful, but I never miss a chance to remind my friends that they are in fact beautiful humans that deserve the world.
What I lack, and what so many others lack is self-love. We’ve grown to fight the standards that society places on us when it comes to others, but we still hold ourselves to those standards. We all so desperately need to take the love we so freely give others and give some to ourselves. Instead of belittling ourselves for one little mistake, we need to celebrate what we did accomplish. Rather than pick at our flaws, we need to love our individuality; praise our talents instead of cursing our shortcomings.
We need to care for ourselves. Make sure we drink enough water and get enough sleep. If we’ve been studying for five hours straight, we need to give ourselves a break. If we’ve been put through hell at work, then Sunday needs to be spent resting. If we’ve had a horrible day, then we need to take some time to destress, even if it means skipping out on dinner with a friend.
We need to learn to love ourselves enough to walk away from anything that isn't adding to our lives. If someone shows us that they don't love us, we need to love ourselves enough to walk away. No answer is an answer. I know you think this person cares about you but wait for someone who makes time to be with you. There’s a massive difference between someone who finds time to see you and someone who makes time. We need to value ourselves enough to leave a toxic friendship. We need to give the love we keep giving away, to ourselves.
Self-love is so important, it’s so needed, and yet we lack it. Let this be your wake up call. It’s not going to be easy, it won’t happen overnight, and it will need to be fought for, but it’s so worth it. You’ve gotta learn to love yourself, you can’t rely on the love of others;
“Because when you’re all alone and it’s 3 in the morning and you’re lying on the floor crying and shaking and wishing it all would end, who’s going to be there for you? You. You have to pick yourself up and find the strength to carry on. At the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got.”
If you base your self-worth on another person, you’ll end up broken every time, trust me.
So as I begin my own journey towards self-love, I ask you to join me.
All the good vibes
