Significant Things I Learned Through A Long Distance Relationship

Significant Things I Learned Through A Long Distance Relationship

We could all learn a thing or two from either a successful or failed attempt at sustaining a long distance relationship.
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Anyone who has even considered having a long-distance relationship has stumbled onto these words at least once: "Long distance relationships never work. Period."

The reason why people hold such a cynical perspective on this seemingly cliché love from afar is because long-distance relationships take a lot of work. I'm not kidding: these types of relationships are the most work intensive. However, the benefits and outcomes are even better than those that originate out of common relationships. After being in a long-distance relationship that ended terribly after two years, I still have faith in these types of situations. I genuinely believe that we could all learn a thing or two from these types of situations, both to improve as people and as romantic partners. If applied well, these small details could carry out a very happy, long-term LDR.

Believe it or not, being in a long-distance relationship helped me get in touch with my extroverted side by forcing me to become a very straightforward communicator. Since LDR couples don't get the benefits of reading each other's body language or hearing the slightest change in each other's voices, clear communication is a must. Once you have that clear communication with your partner, you will find that the relationship will become a billion times more intimate. In my case, I eventually began talking to other people in this same way and the results were astonishing! My friendships improved and the conversations became so much more substantial and open, which leads me to another wonderful thing I learned to develop from my two years of geographical separation from my former partner: trust.


As a former clingy, invasive girlfriend, I can definitely say that trust is a major component in every relationship. If you do not trust your partner, don't even bother trying to keep a long-distance relationship alive: It will be the most stressful and anxiety-producing experience of your life. Accepting a lengthy distance between you and your partner with some extensive time apart requires an acceptance of other terms and conditions. You must also accept the fact that you will not always know and you don't need to know what they are doing all the time, the fact that you must rely on their own word and your own clear communication to know what is going on between you, and the fact that he or she is not worthy of your time if you two cannot work out that mutual respect and trust if both of you are loyal.

Now the major problem with long-distance relationships is the self-discipline. Yes, your partner is miles and miles away, and you have all these attractive people to check out. Could it really hurt anyone to get that one girl or guy's number? Think again. The more leeway you give yourself, the easier it will be to slip. My best advice is to end it right off the bat before you completely and irredeemably break your partner's trust, or take some time to think about that other person and your genuine feelings for them. Are they really worth it? Is there something more to them than just an appearance? Do you genuinely care about the other person's feelings?

Nevertheless, the most important thing I took out of my two-year journey was the gift of learning how to spend time with myself. There were times when I envied other couples with their ridiculously obnoxious public displays of affection, even though I had never found PDA appealing and I had never felt the same way when I was single. The more I bumped into these couples, the more miserable I felt without my former boyfriend at my side. Little did I know that my own happiness didn't have to hang on the thin string that was my relationship back then. I began going out with friends in lieu of dates. I picked up various hobbies to refrain from spending all my time glued to my phone and, therefore, placing all my happiness under the responsibility of one person. Due to this self-reliance, the breakup was not as hard as I thought it would be. Believe me, it hurt to break away from someone that I trusted with my deepest secrets, but in the end, I was glad that I had my own separate personal life going strong to remind me that I had other things to get back up on my feet for.

In the end, I was happy. I had failed to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, but I had learned a lot more about my insecurities and interactions with people than I would have ever learned with a geographically close relationship. For all of those reading this and in an LDR: don't lose hope. It's hard, but doable. Follow what makes you happy, but most importantly, keep it positive and nourishing.


Cover Image Credit: Mashable.com

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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10 Of The Best On-Campus Date Ideas For Broke UK Couples

Some of the University of Kentucky's best spaces for you and your boo.

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Planning a good date on campus can be difficult when you and your S.O. are both low on funds. You want to do something fun, but everything on your mind is out of walking distance or costs more than the $3 you found in your jeans pocket. You don't have to stress any longer. There are plenty of sweet spots on campus, perfect for bringing a bit of fun and romance to your day. Here are my 10 favorite campus dates.

1. ​​Picnic outside of Willy T​​

picnic outside Willy T

Spring is fast approaching, and there is no better way to enjoy the warmer weather than a picnic in the quad outside the library. Grab a basket of your favorite foods and snacks, a couple of blankets, and your sweetheart, and get ready for a good time. My favorite picnic snacks are sandwiches, cheez-its, chocolate-covered strawberries, and probably everything else in my mini-fridge.

2. The Johnson Center

Johnson Center rock wall

Couples that sweat together, stay together! Maybe that's not a fact, but the gym on campus can be a great place to spend some time with your boo while being healthy. You can use machines side by side, spot each other, or (my favorite) rock climb together! After a date at the gym, all of the endorphins your body released will put both of you in the best mood ever. Feel free to take a post-date nap together too (if you're not too sweaty, of course).

3. Hammock, anywhere!

couple hammock

The campus is full of trees, which are perfect for hanging your hammock and cuddling up with your favorite person! A hammock is a perfect place for napping, reading, daydreaming, and even having deep conversations. If you or your S.O. are lucky enough to have a hammock, find some trees, grab a blanket, and get relaxed and romantic.

4. Your dorm

couple

Believe it or not, your dorm can be the perfect spot for a cute date. The options are endless! One of my favorite things to do is to build a sick fort, watch some Netflix, and cuddle. It may sound childish, but it's a great time, and the building process may even start a pillow fight. Other things you can do in your dorm are the classic binging Netflix, ordering in, having a spa night (face masks FTW!), or anything really! Don't be afraid to get childish, and just have fun.

5. Gatton Student Center

Gatton Student Center

There are always plenty of fun activities going on in the Gatton Student Center. Whether it be live music or "The Office" trivia, you're guaranteed to have fun! You and your favorite guy or gal can do anything, from trying stand-up comedy, to watching a movie or just chilling on the Social Staircase.

6. Bike around campus

bike around campus

UK's campus is so beautiful, especially in the spring, and the best way to take it all in is by a scenic bike ride with your honey. Find your favorite route and ride by the prettiest places on campus. While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, one of the prettiest spots is in front of the main building. You can even combine some dates and add a stop for hammocking or a picnic during the bike ride. The possibilities are endless!

7. Starbucks

Starbucks

Every college student I know is constantly starved for coffee. Starbucks can be a great place for getting your caffeine fix, having a meaningful conversation, and even getting some studying in, all at the same time. Make silly faces at your S.O. with a whipped cream mustache and make a café latte toast to life. If you find yourself at the Starbucks in the student center, go UK merch shopping too! Maybe you can even get your date to buy your coffee (wouldn't that be nice).

8. Do something for charity

apo service fraternity

Charity work can be so much fun and it's good for the soul, too. Do something good for your community and make it into a date! There are plenty of things you can do, from decorating cakes for Sweet Blessings or giving blood at a UK blood drive. You can find volunteer work on your own, or you and your S.O. can join a service organization like Alpha Phi Omega (APO).

9. Stargaze

stargazing

If you live right outside of a big city, I'm sure you can understand how hard it is to see actual stars in the night sky. When I came to UK, I was so excited to see real constellations in the sky. As a hopeless romantic, my immediate thought was to plan a date under the beautiful Lexington sky. This is one of the easiest dates out there because all you need is a blanket, a nice spot outside, and someone to share some beautiful moments with.

10.  The Arboretum

arboretum

The Arboretum is a beautiful place, and it can create a very romantic setting for a date. You can relax in the grass and take in the beautiful surroundings or opt for a more high energy date with a walk, run, or bike ride. Either way, the Arboretum is full of gorgeous trees and flowers guaranteed to have you in awe (but the best part is all of the dogs that people bring, IMO).

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