All my life I have struggled with anxiety. When I was little, I would walk around my house before I went to sleep, making sure all the doors were locked and none of the faucets were running. While I never thought much about my anxiety at that point, it continued and got much worse in high school. Sophomore year hit, I went through a break-up, and my entire world spun out of control.
At that point, there was nothing else I wanted to do but lay in my bed and worry about the most trivial topics, like what I was going to eat for dinner that night, to the inevitable heat death of the universe that was trillions of years away. It was by far that worst months of my life- all I did was cry and mope and feel bad for myself, and was not willing to accept help. I worried everyone around me, my grades slipped, and I just felt worthless. But I pulled myself out of it with the help of those around me.
It’s not rare for teenagers our age to struggle with mental illness, but that doesn’t make it any less painful for those who experience it. I still have to overcome anxiety in my everyday life; my worries have subsided, but that doesn’t mean I don’t often still find myself worrying about silly little things. I learned a lot in my experience was the mental illness, and whenever I feel myself getting anxious, I remember these important lessons I’ve learned:
1. Don’t suspect that everyone is against you.
There have been plenty of situations where I have been around people who have been really quiet and distance. Immediately, I take it personally and I think I’ve done something wrong. In the beginning when this would happen, I would just outright ask the person “Do you hate me?” when obviously they do not. One time I asked my friend this as I was sitting on her bed, and she goes “You’re at my house, I don’t hate you.” That's when I knew I was being ridiculous. I’ve learned that everyone has their own problems they’re dealing with, and not everything should be taken so personally. In fact, it might be better to ask them what's going on in their life, and show you are there for them, just as you'd want someone to do for you.
2.Just breathe.
Sometimes I just get so anxious, I begin to feel my heart racing and my knees shaking. Everything in the world just seems to become a weight on my shoulders, and it becomes difficult to think rationally. However, I just have to sit down and take deep breaths and remind myself that everything is going to be alright, that I have nothing to worry about.
3. You have people who love you and want to help you.
Living with anxiety can make you feel so vulnerable, so alone. It leaves you feeling hopeless and worthless to the point where you do not believe you are even worthy of people who care about you. On bad days, you can even convince yourself that that is actually true, that no one does care about you. If I ever feel this way, I usually find myself looking for interaction with others. When you are upset, never forget you have friends you can confide in. They love you no matter what and are there to help. Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten while feeling so low was from great friends.
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Like me, people with anxiety sometimes feel they are stuck in a deep hole they’ll never be able to escape from. The sad feeling that accompanies anxiety is sometimes so strong that people do not believe that they are going to ever make it out. Sometimes our pride gets the best of us, and we don’t want to appear weak by asking for help. However, the strongest thing someone can do in a situation like this is reaching out and get the help they need, whether it be professional or not. It is never too late, and you are not alone on this journey.
5. There is nothing wrong with you.
The brain is a powerful thing, and so is thought, and for someone with anxiety, thinking too much is toxic. What I’ve noticed about anxiety is that if something bad happens, people tend to blame themselves for a negative outcome. I know this has happened to me. In fact, in some situations, I have taken full blame for events that have occurred without being directly involved. While the average person hates to take the blame, those with anxiety feel it is necessary to blame only themselves. When this happens, it can make a person feel like a mistake, like they do nothing but cause problems. If they think this long enough, they begin to feel like it is true. But it never is, even though one may be thinking that way. Everyone is special and beautiful, and sometimes the only person that does not agree with this is ourselves. In most cases, we are our own worst enemies.
While some people you encounter may not understand what you are going through, that is on their shoulders. There have been plenty of times I have been called “irrational” for something I cannot help, and that’s okay. If I sit down and force myself to think rationally, I feel better. I am stronger than my anxiety, and I will never let it control me again. While it is a part of who I am, it is not all I am.
