We live in a world where so much is expected of us. On top of that, we live in an extremely fast paced society. Most of the time, we are so busy being stressed out with our lives that we don't give ourselves time to breath, time to heal, or time to think.
I find that, often, as people move forward, they tend to shove their problems into the background. I myself have lived this kind way for a long time, but am starting to believe that it may cause more damage than good.
Trying to block out all of the bad things you're going through not only numbs you, but it puts you at risk.
This inability to take a rest is something I struggle with, especially when it comes to illness. I've always been the type of person to push through any illness; considering most of my life I've been fighting Chronic Lyme Disease, sick has become my normal. It's part of my life.
That all changed recently, when I went to see a new Lyme Doctor, and found out that, on top of Lyme, I was fighting other serious infections, and may even be experiencing GI [gastrointestinal] problems.
At first, I was shocked because I thought I was completely fine. I brushed off any concern pretty quickly though, because I have always struggled with illnesses. I had originally thought it might just be my Lyme symptoms flaring up, and that maybe I needed to go back on antibiotics. I was so busy trying to push through school and work that I didn't even stop to consider the possibility that something more could be going on. Even though my body had been telling me otherwise, I told myself I didn't need a break: I just needed to keep going. I told myself that my Lyme has been worse in the past: it wasn't even that bad. I told myself that this is what I always do, what I've always done.
Well, this summer, my health issues finally forced me to take time off. Something I haven't done in a long time. Something I was afraid to do.
Before I move on, I have to say how incredibly grateful I am to have such understanding managers, and coworkers who are concerned about my well-being. I'm thankful my manager and boss have been understanding enough to allow me to take time off. I am also grateful to my Editor In Chief, Elizabeth Reed, for how understanding she has been about the days/weeks I haven't been able to submit articles for Odyssey.
I've never been good at cutting myself slack when it comes to — well, anything. I've been told numerous times, by many different people, that I should give myself a break. Although this phrase is usually used in response to how hard I am on myself, I think the same feeling applies to many other aspects of my life, health wise; I also feel that the phrase captures the attitudes of our society today.
For some reason, as a culture, we always need to be doing something. We always need to be accomplishing something. Honestly, when I pause to look around, all I see is a society full of stressed-out and over-burdened people.
It has almost become a requirement to have thousands of accolades and connections in order to get anywhere, at least when it comes to having a career. It has always bothered me, but it wasn't until recently that I've stopped and asked myself, "What do all of these accolades really mean?" Other than to get you where you want to go, what is the purpose of all this running around, all this overloading ourselves with extra work, all these extra tasks? Is it doing anything good for us, or the people around us?
What makes matters worse is that we give ourselves so much flak for not being as put together as the next person. I have always felt lame for having to go through life as slowly as I have, and, even though I have accomplished some things, I've always felt like I'm behind everyone my age.
I feel as though life has become about competing with one another. I suppose it's my more idealistic side that feels perturbed by this. Sadly, life isn't always ideal.
I know it can't be helped: people need to survive, and some people have families to feed. Also, I'm not suggesting that people quit their jobs and do nothing. I'm not saying that it's wrong to work hard, or that people should feel bad for wanting to be successful. That's not what I'm saying.
At times, I just feel like we're focused so much on the noise. We're focused on accomplishing the tasks we need to get done. We're focused on getting a degree. We're focused on getting bills paid. And yes, that's part of life. But are these things really our whole lives? Why are we so terrified of slowing down and stepping back?
